Another Quick Update

"Probably soon."

These were the words the hospice nurse spoke yesterday after assessing Mom's condition.

We aren't surprised, yet there is something jolting when your inner thoughts are confirmed and even stated by someone who has given care to terminally ill patients. She knows the signs to look for; the body posturing, the rate of the pulse, the sleeping cycles, and the 'turning inward' that happens, as relating to others lessens.

I was amazed when I showed up last night for an overnight-er with Mom. I had seen her 3 days ago, and couldn't believe the change in just those few days. She is having difficulty walking and supporting herself. She is also sleeping most of the time--something that has just occurred in the last 3 days. Even when she is "awake" and resting on her couch, her eyes are closed and she is withdrawn. She is needing oxygen more regularly, and is now requiring morphine almost daily, as she is beginning to have some severe pain in her abdomen. Thankfully, she gets quick relief with the morphine and we have kept her pain under control.

Mom's disposition continues to be good. Last week she was very melancholy, and even discouraged that things are taking so long to happen. She was awake often during the night and very restless and worrying about things being undone. This week, she seems to have turned a corner and is peaceful and reconciled with things. She seems "settled" and in many ways--ready. She commented to me last night that the last few days have been the most relaxing and peaceful that she's had in a long time.

So, with all these "signs", it will probably be "soon" that we'll be releasing Mom to Heaven. I wish I could say that the joy of this hope makes all this easier, and I guess it does to some degree--knowing Mom will be healthy and whole is such a wonderful thing, and I wouldn't want anything else for her--but this process and everything it entails is....heavy. It is a hard journey.

My siblings and I (and Mom) have received wonderful encouragement and support from hospice and my mother's church family and friends. Personally, I'm so thankful for the sweet cards and emails of encouragement from my own girlfriends. We all know we are being covered in prayer, which is felt and appreciated. Thank you, to each of you, for ministering to us and walking alongside us!