Mother-in-law Update

I know many are wondering how my mother-in-law is doing so I wanted to give a quick update. I've put off writing and updating about her because her condition is tenuous. And, honestly, the stress and strain of everything over the past 2 months is beginning to take a toll and these days I'm just trying to get through each day. Having energy to post to a blog is proving demanding these days.

As I had written a few "posts" ago, my husband's mother, Isobel, had a heart attack a week and half after my mother died. Isobel will be 89 next month and has been in ill health for years now. She has been in the care of an extended care unit of a coastal hospital for 1-1/2 years now. The most recent heart attack was a bit confusing to the doctors, however, after many tests, they concluded that the "episode" she had was not just one attack, but rather, she had been having a continual small heart attack that lasted for several days, all the while doing irreparable damage to her heart! They finally got that under control, but she has continued having other issues, partly as result of this latest episode, but also issues due to cumulative damage over the years and age in general.

Last week we received the report that she had not eaten or had any water for 3 days. They began hydrating her with an IV. She "perked up" and even began eating with help, although small portions. Since that time, she has had really "good" days, where she is alert and recognizes people, even conversational and interactive, and then she has other days of not eating unable to swallow, and drifting in and out of sleep. Overall, her condition is declining. There is no indication how quickly she will continue to decline, nor what ultimately will take her. She could linger for weeks and even months as her body gets weaker or she could go suddenly die from any number of heart-related issues. On Friday, the doctors recommended and have arranged a meeting between hospice, my husband Ron, and his sisters. The medical team is feels strongly that she is at the point where the hospice team may be both helpful and necessary.

Ron and his siblings are at the point my siblings and I were 2-1/2 months ago--that initial meeting with hospice, trying to decipher all the incoming information, wondering what it all means, what is best, what kind of medical decisions should they make for their mother, and so on. Their mother's issues are different from my own mother's, yet there is such a familiarity. It was difficult seeing Isobel a week ago. Not because she was in pain or discomfort--she wasn't (She actually looked really healthy compared to my mother); No, what "got" me were her mannerisms, her disposition--everything--that reminded me of how my mother was as she was nearing death. It was all a little too fresh and familiar. I'm also so "spent" from this process with my own mother, that my own reserves are depleted and I have very little emotional support available to give to my husband as he goes through this process. It is frustrating on so many levels. Ron is doing pretty well, although admittedly, he is tired and also emotionally depleted as he has been such a help throughout my mother's journey.

People have asked how we're doing and honestly, I don't know. We're doing what is required of us right now. Not a lot of choices here. This is our life right now. This is what the Lord has put before us and has allowed in our lives. We continue to trust him and believe He is able to see us through all of this. I have to testify that, to date, He has been faithful to give us enough of what is needed each day, to do what is required of us!

We do ask for your prayers for strength (emotionally, physically, spiritually) for all of us--Ron and me, our kids (Isobel is their last Grandparent still surviving)and Ron's 2 sisters; and for Isobel, for peace in her process and that the Lord would take her home quickly (she is a believer). Please be remembering Ron's sisters too, that they would experience peace that passes understanding and that through this, they would be drawn back to the Lord and find comfort and new faith in Him.

Thank you for caring!