Saturday, August 25, 2007

Stress--Nothing a little Hairspray can't fix.

When one finds one's self arguing with their spouse over the placement of a love seat (hmm, interesting irony) one knows they are stressed out. So was the scene today as my husband and I were re-positioning the love seat after cleaning the carpets this morning.

We are in the final stages of moving out of our current home, and fatigue, and the natural stress that comes with moving are becoming evident. So much so, that our kids who witnessed the "love couch argument" have told us that they almost burst out laughing because we were being so ridiculous about it all. It was one of those moments that they felt like the adults in the room!

Eventually, my husband and I realized what was going on, said we were sorry, forgave each other and felt pretty stupid. Identifying that we were both totally stressed out, we decided that relaxing and putting the move on the back burner for the night would be a good idea. My husband opted for a quiet night of resting and TV watching while I took my two girls to see "Hairspray"-- again. The sound track from this musical has been my companion lately while painting and cleaning. I'll confess, it is nearly impossible not to dance while listening to this music.

Anyone who has seen this movie will probably agree that it makes you smile and laugh most of the time. There is some brief questionable dialogue and a few innuendos, but the majority of the musical is fun, clean and in many ways, quite inspiring. Tonight we smiled and bopped to the music once again.

Set in the early '60's, the serious side of the musical deals with the issue of segregation. While on a march urging for integration, Queen Latifah's character sings the song "I Know Where I've Been". It's a beautiful song that basically says 'getting there ' will be just that much sweeter because she knows what the journey has been all about, and where she's come from, and that keeps her pushing forward.

This song brought me to tears the first time I saw the movie, and didn't disappoint again tonight. As Ms. Latifah sang the final words, "...and I'll give thanks to my God, 'cause I know where I've been", I was suddenly transported out of the relaxing entertainment of that dark theater, into the reality of moving, and all that it entails. I thought about the stress of the day, and the last time we moved, 4 years ago.

Four years ago, because of several financial issues--some through our own choices, others due to things beyond our control--we were faced with the reality that we needed to sell our house and downsize. We sold our house, and moved into a townhouse that we have rented ever since. We had thought that the move would only be temporary--perhaps for about a year--and the we would buy another house and just ease back into status quo. I was really hoping that this was God's plan as well. But it wasn't. He put us (me) on a 4-year intensive study program, digging things out of me like pride (that I didn't know was there), stripping away things that I had held onto for security and identity, that kept me from experiencing deeper intimacy with Him, all the while deepening my faith and dependence on Him. Not a journey for the faint of heart. It has been a very painful, humbling path for the last 48 months, but one that has produced health, wholeness and healing.

And now, here we are, on the threshold of the next chapter in the journey. We are moving into a house that we will be renting for awhile, and then possibly buying. We weren't looking for this house. But God brought the house to us through some very dear friends who have been more than gracious and Christ-like toward us. We're all very excited to move into a home that will have more space, a big yard for our dogs, and plenty of space to have the high school-ers over after church. Clearly we know, and have received confirmation over and over that this is the right time and that God is directing this move. Yet I find myself stressed out. The "what if's" start creeping into my mind. The "to-do" list expands rather than diminishes and the fears try to creep in.

And then tonight, watching a secular musical, in a dark theater, I was convicted, encouraged and admonished through some simple words in a song. I was reminded that this move--this day--is all a part of this same 4 year journey. It doesn't end when the final box is unpacked in our new house, but rather it will mark the arrival of a new point on the path that will no doubt have it's share of lessons, joys, trials and convictions; but I don't have to be fearful, or stressed out, or doubting--I need to continue to press forward. I know the Lord is leading. He is and has been faithful. He is holding my hand every step of the way.

That's why I was brought to tears tonight. I wanted to sing right along with Queen Latifah and shout it out ; I'll give thanks to My God, 'cause I know where I've been.

Friday, August 17, 2007

I'm 1 year old today!

Today is my blogging birthday! One year ago today I entered the world of blogging and posted my first pondering. What a fun year it has been.

On this noteworthy day, my celebration will be rather quiet, spent only with close family members. I won't have a marathon blogging session, re-hashing every post from the last year, nor will I be posting anything that will impact humanity in a significant way. Instead it will be a day filled with nieces and nephews visiting their auntie and cousins, culminating in a viewing of Disney's movie, "High School Musical 2". It should be a very memorable event! Perhaps even blog-worthy!

Thank you to all of my fellow bloggers, readers, and "lurkers" who have visited, commented, and lurked throughout the last year. It has been lots of fun! I'm looking forward to another year of sharing my ponderings.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things

It is hard to believe it has been nearly two weeks since my last posting. I'm finally feeling like I'm getting back into the swing of things following surgery, which includes blogging once again.

Surgery went great. Very "uneventful" as the doctor said. Recovery as been pretty good, although I've been amazed at how quickly I tire and how much I want to sleep these days. Everyday I can see improvement in my energy level, and that is encouraging as I think of all the boxes needing to be packed as we move in a few weeks! Pain has been pretty minimal, although soreness is present, but lessening every day. The real plus to all of this is that supposedly I will be feeling a lot better than I have been. The surgeon told me there was scar tissue present and that I have probably been having gall bladder issues for the past 2 to 2-1/2 years and didn't fully realize it! That is God's grace for you! (Or me being totally out of touch with my health!)

Thank you all for your prayers. It has been so evident that all of this is the Lord's timing and I'm learning, once again, to just rest in that and go with it.

I mentioned moving. We are in full swing in preparing for moving sometime after the 20th of this month. We've been packing up cupboards, book cases and bedrooms. The past week I've been "supervising" the packing of boxes--sitting in a chair and directing--as I'm not released to lift or move anything yet. After the next week I should get full clearance from my doctor to actively pack--and feel physically able to do so--and then, watch out! I have enjoyed sorting through things and tossing things out as we go along. I love the chance to purge and clean out. Moving is always good for that!

This weekend we're enjoying our backdoor seats to the local airshow. We live on the backside of the airport and literally watch the airshow from the back patio! There used to be a large field behind us that provided an unobstructed view. However, this past year they began "developing" the field and putting in row houses. (Another reason we're so thankful to be moving.) We still have a pretty good view this year since construction is only in the beginning stages. It has been thrilling to have the Blue Angels zooming overhead. They are absolutely breathtaking!

I'll post more later--just wanted to let you know I'm alive and well!