Confessions of a Blogger

I have something to confess.  Beginning this blogging journey once again is a bit of stretch for me, yet I know it is something I need to do. I'll explain...

A couple of weeks ago I ran into a dear friend whom I had not seen in person in over a year.  We had exchanged some Facebook comments and emails in past months, but that had been about it.  As we talked face to face, she brought up something about my writing.  I was a little caught off guard and told her I hadn't written in over a year and didn't know if I could or would get back to it.  Strangely, while we talked, I felt a well of emotion bubbling to the top and was unsure as to why I was feeling so unsteady.  Her kind words were poking at a tender spot that I hadn't realized was there.  (Giving more thought to this, I think I was feeling emotional because actually, what I had done out of self-preservation was to convince myself that writing/blogging was something I 'used to do' and that this 'season' of my life had passed even though it was something I used to enjoy so deeply.)

In the past several years, my family and I have had some deep wounds (some imposed by others) that have needed time to heal, and making myself vulnerable again to others outside of my safe circle  has been scary for me. So naturally, blogging--a very public forum-- has gone to the wayside.  I mean, realistically, who in their right mind likes to lay themselves open to the general public for comments, criticisms and critiques?  But when I get my focus back on the purpose, then things change.

When I started this blog, I felt so compelled to just be me and to share "Thoughts about living real life as a real follower of Jesus....and other things to ponder."  When I reflect on this, I still am so convinced that this is a call on my life. I don't know why, but it is something that presses on me...to be 'real', to be vulnerable and transparent.  If  the Lord can use any of this somehow for His glory and to lead others to Himself, then I want to be obedient in doing whatever He asks of me. But truthfully, I just haven't thought about blogging in that way for quite awhile. Thankfully, through this friend, He gave me a peek at the bigger picture and a renewal in my spirit.  It's not about me....but Him. When I focus on the Lord and what HE might be doing, then I feel courage and creativity flowing back into weary bones and brain cells.

I don't share this in hopes of getting pats on the back, or even a 'hooray for you', but just to share.  That's really what it comes down to.

I doubt this will be the most profound thing that anyone reads today.  But maybe, just maybe, the Lord, in His divinely loving supernatural way of doing things, will use it to touch a life.

Thank you Lord, for courage, strength and focus today.  Thank you for continual healing and your life-giving breath in my life.