In the Waiting Room

Wow!  How can it be almost 2 months since my last post?  I apologize.  So many have been asking how I'm doing and next steps.  Let me get you caught up on things.

I think the best way to describe the current phase is that I'm in the "waiting" stage of cancer.

Waiting for next Monday (5/12)  when I will have another scan to detect any remaining cancer cells.

Waiting for next Tuesday (5/13) when I see my oncologist to find out the scan results and the "game plan" going forward.

Waiting for my body to gradually recover from the months of chemotherapy; to regain my appetite, my taste buds, my energy, my immune system and my full brain power.

Waiting for my hair to grow back.  (It's already begun! I have a fuzzy head and look a little bit like a baby bird just getting its first feathers.)

Waiting to see when I will be physically able to go back to work and other activity.

Waiting.

Since my last post, my infection cleared and I proceeded to have 2 more rounds of chemotherapy.  My last treatment was on April 15.  Currently I am in the post-chemo recovery mode and at the 3 week mark.  I am feeling stronger every day.  Today I was doing a little happy dance (very little) as I realized that if I were still having chemotherapy, today would be the day I'd go in for another round, but I'm not!  Woohoo!

Now that I have completed chemotherapy, it is a process of allowing my body to recover.  There is no set time frame for this, however, my doctor is optimistic and feels/thinks I may feel good enough to return to work and regular life activities around the 6-7 week mark after my last treatment.

What's next you may ask?  Well, for now I have been enjoying a 4 week break from my doctor.  I feel like I'm having spring break!  Since December, I have been in the doctor's office/clinic every week, so having a 4 week stint where I haven't had to go in has felt luxurious. I know there will be many more regular doctor appointments after next week, whatever the results are, so I'm soaking up this time off.  As my doctor put it, "we're going to be seeing a lot of each other over the coming months and years."

New happenings on the home front since the last post-- we have had an engagement in our house!  We are very excited and have been making wedding plans which have proved to be a nice distraction, even energizing.  It feels 'life-giving' in a sense in that it is joyful, hopeful and something to look forward to after a season of so much hard "life" stuff.

I think that catches you up.  We're still praying for complete healing and that no cancer cells will be present.  I know so many of you are praying the same way.  Please know I will update you on things next week and let you know the results.

Through all of this, and especially in the last many 'waiting' weeks, the overwhelming theme or words that continually have come up are "trust" and "hope".  I don't know if you're like me or not, but when the same theme pops up in my devotional or in verses I'm reading, or someone else shares something along the same line, I know I need to pay attention! This has been an overwhelming theme throughout the last many months and even these past couple of weeks.  When I'm questioning the timing of things, or feeling discouraged, or anxious about the days to come, I'm reminded of  this passage in scripture that has helped me regain my focus and has allowed me to find rest and peace in the midst of uncertainty:

Jeremiah 17:7,8 (Amp)
"[Most] but blessed is the one who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is.
For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit."

I'm so thankful for God's faithfulness throughout this journey. Whether or not I am healed of this cancer, there has already been a lot of healing and good that has come from it: He has truly given peace when it doesn't seem logical or possible; He has surrounded me/us with overwhelming support and love; He has healed some old wounds and restored relationships; He has helped me become refocused on what is important and those things that are not as important; and He has given new life to hopes and dreams in so many ways.

I'm just so thankful.