Sitting in the quiet of my house with a dried-up Christmas tree standing tall in the corner, sipping new Christmas flavored coffee, tempted to eat the remainder of a Christmas cookie left alone in a festive Christmas tin, and looking at the new software program poised on the computer desk that resists being installed in an easy and cooperative manner--I find myself reflecting on the holiday.
It is difficult to believe it is that time of year again. Where has the year gone? I know I say this every year...but this time, I really mean it...where did this last year go? How can it be 2007 already? Weren't we just preparing for the impending doom and chaos of Y2K? Yikes! I know time flies when you're having fun...but I've concluded that time flies even when you're not having fun. In fact, what you're doing has nothing to do with the rate at which it flies...it just does.
"Time" is an element that seems to bother me more and more as I grow older. It becomes further out of reach. The rate at which my children grow-up seems to speed up; The rate at which my outer self changes accelerates; the rate at which technology like i-pods, cell phones and digital imagery morphs is mind-boggling. Even the joys and triumphs of the year seem quickly eclipsed by the next trial or tragedy. Like my outdated computer operating system, I feel that my operating system is slow, and I can't quite process things at the speed that is required in order to keep up with life and the rate at which it seems to propel us forward. I want to savor moments, like Christmas celebrations, yet when I go to the grocery store the day after Christmas, I'm confronted with Valentine's Day candy!
This past Christmas season, determined to wrangle this time beast and hold onto the precious moments of the holiday, I tried something new. I began by really allowing Christ to be a part of the season. Elementary, I know. (Some of us are slow...remember?) What I mean by this is that I surrendered the season to Him. With my Thanksgiving lesson still recent enough to recall, I was determined to surrender and be willing to give up whatever "traditions", plans, activities, and so on--those things that in my mind "make" it a 'great Christmas'--and instead allow the Lord of my life to orchestrate the season. Some of you may be thinking, "so what's the big deal?"
For many of us the weight of creating a memorable holiday is a constant pressure (I especially feel this being a mother); an ever-present mental "to-do" list that we wear as a holiday accessory, checking off each item as it is completed. Add to that the pressure of making sure all the gifts "come out even" for the kids--in number and value--well, it can be exhausting! Each year I try to shorten my list, but I have as yet to escape it. However, this year, I allowed the Lord to make my "to-do" list. It occurred to me that perhaps all those list items that I think are important and crucial to a fulfilling, enduring holiday reminiscence really aren't all that necessary? This is what His list looked like:
1. Make only two batches of cookies, instead of the entire holiday cookie book.
I polled the family on their top picks. We still made the cut-out cookies, but it was much easier this year as we spread the process out over a few days; 1 day to chill the dough, 1 day to cut them out and bake them and still another day to decorate. By the third day and at the end of decorating, we began "commando icing" which translates into slapping on icing in a fashion Picasso would condone. What mattered most was that we were all having fun and laughing.
2. Say "no"...and this time, really mean it.
Often what I want to do and what I can do are different because of time or availability restraints. I'm working at being more practical about these things, and learning that more often than not the opportunity will come along again or in some cases, something better will present itself. The Lord is teaching me to not stress about these convergences, but trust Him in them. (I still need lots of practice however!)
This past Christmas season, creative leadership at church requested submissions of a brief (100 words) essay from members who would like to share significant ways that God has moved in their lives. My first response was "Great! I want to do that for sure. God has been so present, working and teaching..this should be easy!" Well, after multiple beginnings, and several re-writes, I had a real sense that I wasn't "supposed" to write anything, but rather I should say "no" to this opportunity. Why was it that something so full in my heart kept coming up empty on paper? It isn't as if anything I had to share was profound or Pulitzer-worthy, but it still seemed like a "good" thing to be involved in. I had to really surrender this one to Him. I don't "get it"...but I'm okay with it. (As a side note, it was a blessing being at the Christmas Eve service and having others share their stories of how God broke into their world. I'm so glad that others told their stories, and look forward to reading more.)
3. Limit the buying. Give other kinds of gifts.
My kids love getting together with their cousins for Christmas and traditionally, we do this later in the day with my side of the family on Christmas day. However, this year, because of other family plans, we all celebrated together on the 23rd. It was such a fun-filled day. My oldest sister gave the gift of planning and executing the day. Acknowledging that each family was wanting to cut down on the gift-buying, the day was focused around performing a holiday program for my mom, Grandma BK, as our gift to her. All 12 of the Grandkids participated. Five of the boys practiced and performed a live band number complete with guitars and drums while my brother, Uncle Rich, sang. My husband Ron sang "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" while my niece Amy interpreted in sign language (she is nationally certified as an interpreter). Then there were two other musical parodies the Grandkids performed which included choreography and singing.
We had a "white elephant" gift exchange with the adults--limit $5.00-- and the kids exchanged names, but with the focus off of buying and on giving ourselves, a whole new realm was opened up--especially for the kids. What a wonderfully full day that was. Everyone had such a great time.
4. And finally, focus on the presence of one another, not presents.
We kicked off Christmas day by attending a Christmas Eve service the night before. The service was warm and personal. I really thought it was an exceptional night. Usually reluctant to attend, the kids each commented on how good it was...and of course...holding lit candles is always a plus.
Christmas day we were home all day with nowhere to go. We were pajama-clad the entire day. The pile of presents under the tree was smaller than in previous years, but that is largely due to the fact that as the kids are getting older, their gift choices are getting more expensive yet smaller in size! However, I think they were just as excited over getting new socks as they were their one "big" gift. One of my treasured gifts was given to me by my oldest son. Unsolicited, he came up behind me while I was fixing dinner, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and then walked away.
We have all marvelled at what an exceptional Christmas this was; not exhausting, not pressure-filled, not stressful at trying to fill expectations that are never satisfied, but just simplified and re-focused. It truly was a blessed Christmas and one I am still savoring. Time seemed to slow down this Christmas and for that I'm thankful.
I have lots of ponderings to share about the New Year...but I won't rush... there's plenty of time to do that.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Holiday Treats
I thought I would share a couple of God's "holiday treats" we've tasted during this Christmas season.
The sweetness of prayer
This is "peak" season for my husband, a busy UPS guy. It is not uncommon for thankful "regular" customers to give him small gifts of homemade goodies or gift certificates to show their appreciation of his faithful service throughout the past year. This year has been no exception. This last week he brought home a card given to him from the Vietnamese nuns he sees frequently while delivering their communion supplies. He opened the card and read, "You and your dear ones are remembered daily in the prayers and works of the community." I was so touched by this sincere gift of prayer. What a blessing!
Senses seasoned with God's Power
Our local high school presented their annual holiday concert on Thursday night. Yep, you're thinking correctly...this was during the early hours of an intense wind storm that swept through the area. Shortly after the concert began, the power went out; the sound system went dead, main stage and auditorium lighting went black as emergency lights simultaneously came on. The decision was made by the principal and choir director to continue with the concert. The audience was in full agreement. Several different ensembles sang in dim light, reading music with the aide from cell phone lighting; pianists played as page-turners doubled as flashlight-holders.
The main choir performance was saved for the end of the concert. This is the 78 voice choir that most typically sings a capella. My son is a member of this group. As they entered from the back of the auditorium, the women began singing a South African freedom song. The room was filled with wonderful sensations of harmony, a percussive beat, and words that sang out, "We are marching to the arms of God." As these words were song, the auditorium shook with a the impact of a large wind gust. It was quite poetic. The song segued into a Nigerian Christmas song, "Betelchemu" (Bethlehem) which the young men began singing. When interpreted, the words say, -I'm so glad I have a loving father I can trust' (paraphrased). Again, but more intense and prolonged, came another blast of wind that shook the building, as if to emphasize the words being sung. I was keenly aware that God was participating, "singing" right along with the choir.
The wind seemed to die down and the choir continued singing their program. Their final selection was "Dona Nobis Pacem" or (if I understand this correctly) is "Grant us Peace." Again, the choir moved from the risers and encircled the audience. As they sang this beautiful, soothing, Latin round, the room was filled with a hush. A low, yet intensifying, rumble began. It crescendo'd to a burst of wind that again shook the rafters and eaves of the school. The final note was sung. The wind stopped. Peace.
May your senses be filled with the aroma and sweetness of God's presence. Merry Christmas!
The sweetness of prayer
This is "peak" season for my husband, a busy UPS guy. It is not uncommon for thankful "regular" customers to give him small gifts of homemade goodies or gift certificates to show their appreciation of his faithful service throughout the past year. This year has been no exception. This last week he brought home a card given to him from the Vietnamese nuns he sees frequently while delivering their communion supplies. He opened the card and read, "You and your dear ones are remembered daily in the prayers and works of the community." I was so touched by this sincere gift of prayer. What a blessing!
Senses seasoned with God's Power
Our local high school presented their annual holiday concert on Thursday night. Yep, you're thinking correctly...this was during the early hours of an intense wind storm that swept through the area. Shortly after the concert began, the power went out; the sound system went dead, main stage and auditorium lighting went black as emergency lights simultaneously came on. The decision was made by the principal and choir director to continue with the concert. The audience was in full agreement. Several different ensembles sang in dim light, reading music with the aide from cell phone lighting; pianists played as page-turners doubled as flashlight-holders.
The main choir performance was saved for the end of the concert. This is the 78 voice choir that most typically sings a capella. My son is a member of this group. As they entered from the back of the auditorium, the women began singing a South African freedom song. The room was filled with wonderful sensations of harmony, a percussive beat, and words that sang out, "We are marching to the arms of God." As these words were song, the auditorium shook with a the impact of a large wind gust. It was quite poetic. The song segued into a Nigerian Christmas song, "Betelchemu" (Bethlehem) which the young men began singing. When interpreted, the words say, -I'm so glad I have a loving father I can trust' (paraphrased). Again, but more intense and prolonged, came another blast of wind that shook the building, as if to emphasize the words being sung. I was keenly aware that God was participating, "singing" right along with the choir.
The wind seemed to die down and the choir continued singing their program. Their final selection was "Dona Nobis Pacem" or (if I understand this correctly) is "Grant us Peace." Again, the choir moved from the risers and encircled the audience. As they sang this beautiful, soothing, Latin round, the room was filled with a hush. A low, yet intensifying, rumble began. It crescendo'd to a burst of wind that again shook the rafters and eaves of the school. The final note was sung. The wind stopped. Peace.
May your senses be filled with the aroma and sweetness of God's presence. Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 09, 2006
All You Need Is Love
With teenagers abounding in our household (in April when our youngest turns 13, we will officially have 4 teens, ranging in age from 13 to 18!) there is no shortage of drama as it relates to relationships, either with the opposite sex, or in friendships. It is a continual "ride" comparable to a them park attraction, navigating through a maze of twists and turns and unexpected highs and lows.
Having both boys and girls, it has been a course in human development as we discuss their relationships. My sons will talk about their love lives, or friendships, but not give a play-by-play like the girls are prone to. The male of the species are much more pragmatic in their approach; "Well, this is how it is....", "Girls are so confusing!" My daughters convey every detail, every nuance; " He said...., and then she said...., which made me mad because she didn't have to say it with such a nasty tone in her voice like she thought she was 'all that'...." Discussions can be quite exhausting at times.
As a parent I feel such a sense of responsibility to guide them to a true understanding of what "love" is, both in friendships and those special relationships. We've had many talks about what God says real love is and what the world says love is. (I guess you could say this is where I'm encouraging my children to be counter-cultural. ) I want to be wise in giving them any kind of advice, wanting to be based in truth of scripture and not worldly wisdom. I want to teach them--show them--what "real" love looks like when it is "fleshed-out". But, wow...how does one do that??
The world says love is based on emotion, but scripture teaches it is based on giving, action, even sacrifice:
Never mind being a foreign concept to my teenagers...this is a difficult concept for me to grasp! What does this really mean? How do I really do this in everyday life? How do I "love" the gas station attendant as he pumps my gas? How do I "love" the "sand paper people" in my life (those people that irritate me beyond belief but God has allowed them in my life to smooth out my rough edges)? When I was a young mother, how could I have loved my "neighbor" when I was exhausted from caring for small children, and didn't have resources like time or money (or energy) to give to someone else?
These are the thoughts that plague me. I battle the conflict between wanting to be an obedient, authentic servant, being real in my love for others; and yet not fall into a snare of self-condemnation and guilt that comes from fear that I'm not measuring up or meeting some invisible love-your-neighbor-daily-quotient-meter. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 JOHN 4:18) Hmmm. Lots to chew on.
What I'm learning is that there really isn't a "right" way--or more accurately, only one way to love others. (Okay, maybe I'm dull headed--many of you probably already have this figured out!) Instead of giving us one way to show love to others, God in His Word (and wisdom) gives a multitude of examples, leaving the field wide open: God gave his son; Christ died for us; Paul gave his life writing and teaching out of deep love 'for all the saints'; church members cared for the widows and orphans; others provided for the poor; and so on. Love is multi-faceted just like God.
When I consider the words, "God is love", I am compelled to look at him and examine him. Who is He? What is His character? It seems my ability to love others is proportionate to how well I know Him. The deeper my relationship goes with the Lord and the more intimately I know Him, the deeper and more intimately (I'm not talking romantically here) I can love others; And, I don't have to worry or "fear" about not measuring up or meeting a love-quotient because loving is a natural by-product of the relationship with God. God's Holy Spirit living inside of me guides me and shows me how to love others--It may be a word of encouragement, or an act of service, or it may mean praying in an intercessory manner--whatever is needed for that moment. My responsibility is to be "tuned in" and be willing to be obedient to the Spirit's direction. Again, I love the simplicity and freedom of following the Lord.
As we continue to travel this wild and wacky road through teenage heart-ache, I'm so thankful I can point each of them toward a love that never disappoints and never fails. I'm thankful for the example of how God loves us and how we can love others--without all the drama!
Having both boys and girls, it has been a course in human development as we discuss their relationships. My sons will talk about their love lives, or friendships, but not give a play-by-play like the girls are prone to. The male of the species are much more pragmatic in their approach; "Well, this is how it is....", "Girls are so confusing!" My daughters convey every detail, every nuance; " He said...., and then she said...., which made me mad because she didn't have to say it with such a nasty tone in her voice like she thought she was 'all that'...." Discussions can be quite exhausting at times.
As a parent I feel such a sense of responsibility to guide them to a true understanding of what "love" is, both in friendships and those special relationships. We've had many talks about what God says real love is and what the world says love is. (I guess you could say this is where I'm encouraging my children to be counter-cultural. ) I want to be wise in giving them any kind of advice, wanting to be based in truth of scripture and not worldly wisdom. I want to teach them--show them--what "real" love looks like when it is "fleshed-out". But, wow...how does one do that??
The world says love is based on emotion, but scripture teaches it is based on giving, action, even sacrifice:
"For God loved the world so much He gave his only son, that whoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)
"This is how God showed his love among us; He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him." (1 John 4:9)
1 John 3: 16 says, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."
Never mind being a foreign concept to my teenagers...this is a difficult concept for me to grasp! What does this really mean? How do I really do this in everyday life? How do I "love" the gas station attendant as he pumps my gas? How do I "love" the "sand paper people" in my life (those people that irritate me beyond belief but God has allowed them in my life to smooth out my rough edges)? When I was a young mother, how could I have loved my "neighbor" when I was exhausted from caring for small children, and didn't have resources like time or money (or energy) to give to someone else?
These are the thoughts that plague me. I battle the conflict between wanting to be an obedient, authentic servant, being real in my love for others; and yet not fall into a snare of self-condemnation and guilt that comes from fear that I'm not measuring up or meeting some invisible love-your-neighbor-daily-quotient-meter. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 JOHN 4:18) Hmmm. Lots to chew on.
What I'm learning is that there really isn't a "right" way--or more accurately, only one way to love others. (Okay, maybe I'm dull headed--many of you probably already have this figured out!) Instead of giving us one way to show love to others, God in His Word (and wisdom) gives a multitude of examples, leaving the field wide open: God gave his son; Christ died for us; Paul gave his life writing and teaching out of deep love 'for all the saints'; church members cared for the widows and orphans; others provided for the poor; and so on. Love is multi-faceted just like God.
When I consider the words, "God is love", I am compelled to look at him and examine him. Who is He? What is His character? It seems my ability to love others is proportionate to how well I know Him. The deeper my relationship goes with the Lord and the more intimately I know Him, the deeper and more intimately (I'm not talking romantically here) I can love others; And, I don't have to worry or "fear" about not measuring up or meeting a love-quotient because loving is a natural by-product of the relationship with God. God's Holy Spirit living inside of me guides me and shows me how to love others--It may be a word of encouragement, or an act of service, or it may mean praying in an intercessory manner--whatever is needed for that moment. My responsibility is to be "tuned in" and be willing to be obedient to the Spirit's direction. Again, I love the simplicity and freedom of following the Lord.
As we continue to travel this wild and wacky road through teenage heart-ache, I'm so thankful I can point each of them toward a love that never disappoints and never fails. I'm thankful for the example of how God loves us and how we can love others--without all the drama!
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