Christmas Ponderings

Sitting in the quiet of my house with a dried-up Christmas tree standing tall in the corner, sipping new Christmas flavored coffee, tempted to eat the remainder of a Christmas cookie left alone in a festive Christmas tin, and looking at the new software program poised on the computer desk that resists being installed in an easy and cooperative manner--I find myself reflecting on the holiday.

It is difficult to believe it is that time of year again. Where has the year gone? I know I say this every year...but this time, I really mean it...where did this last year go? How can it be 2007 already? Weren't we just preparing for the impending doom and chaos of Y2K? Yikes! I know time flies when you're having fun...but I've concluded that time flies even when you're not having fun. In fact, what you're doing has nothing to do with the rate at which it flies...it just does.

"Time" is an element that seems to bother me more and more as I grow older. It becomes further out of reach. The rate at which my children grow-up seems to speed up; The rate at which my outer self changes accelerates; the rate at which technology like i-pods, cell phones and digital imagery morphs is mind-boggling. Even the joys and triumphs of the year seem quickly eclipsed by the next trial or tragedy. Like my outdated computer operating system, I feel that my operating system is slow, and I can't quite process things at the speed that is required in order to keep up with life and the rate at which it seems to propel us forward. I want to savor moments, like Christmas celebrations, yet when I go to the grocery store the day after Christmas, I'm confronted with Valentine's Day candy!

This past Christmas season, determined to wrangle this time beast and hold onto the precious moments of the holiday, I tried something new. I began by really allowing Christ to be a part of the season. Elementary, I know. (Some of us are slow...remember?) What I mean by this is that I surrendered the season to Him. With my Thanksgiving lesson still recent enough to recall, I was determined to surrender and be willing to give up whatever "traditions", plans, activities, and so on--those things that in my mind "make" it a 'great Christmas'--and instead allow the Lord of my life to orchestrate the season. Some of you may be thinking, "so what's the big deal?"

For many of us the weight of creating a memorable holiday is a constant pressure (I especially feel this being a mother); an ever-present mental "to-do" list that we wear as a holiday accessory, checking off each item as it is completed. Add to that the pressure of making sure all the gifts "come out even" for the kids--in number and value--well, it can be exhausting! Each year I try to shorten my list, but I have as yet to escape it. However, this year, I allowed the Lord to make my "to-do" list. It occurred to me that perhaps all those list items that I think are important and crucial to a fulfilling, enduring holiday reminiscence really aren't all that necessary? This is what His list looked like:

1. Make only two batches of cookies, instead of the entire holiday cookie book.

I polled the family on their top picks. We still made the cut-out cookies, but it was much easier this year as we spread the process out over a few days; 1 day to chill the dough, 1 day to cut them out and bake them and still another day to decorate. By the third day and at the end of decorating, we began "commando icing" which translates into slapping on icing in a fashion Picasso would condone. What mattered most was that we were all having fun and laughing.

2. Say "no"...and this time, really mean it.

Often what I want to do and what I can do are different because of time or availability restraints. I'm working at being more practical about these things, and learning that more often than not the opportunity will come along again or in some cases, something better will present itself. The Lord is teaching me to not stress about these convergences, but trust Him in them. (I still need lots of practice however!)

This past Christmas season, creative leadership at church requested submissions of a brief (100 words) essay from members who would like to share significant ways that God has moved in their lives. My first response was "Great! I want to do that for sure. God has been so present, working and teaching..this should be easy!" Well, after multiple beginnings, and several re-writes, I had a real sense that I wasn't "supposed" to write anything, but rather I should say "no" to this opportunity. Why was it that something so full in my heart kept coming up empty on paper? It isn't as if anything I had to share was profound or Pulitzer-worthy, but it still seemed like a "good" thing to be involved in. I had to really surrender this one to Him. I don't "get it"...but I'm okay with it. (As a side note, it was a blessing being at the Christmas Eve service and having others share their stories of how God broke into their world. I'm so glad that others told their stories, and look forward to reading more.)

3. Limit the buying. Give other kinds of gifts.

My kids love getting together with their cousins for Christmas and traditionally, we do this later in the day with my side of the family on Christmas day. However, this year, because of other family plans, we all celebrated together on the 23rd. It was such a fun-filled day. My oldest sister gave the gift of planning and executing the day. Acknowledging that each family was wanting to cut down on the gift-buying, the day was focused around performing a holiday program for my mom, Grandma BK, as our gift to her. All 12 of the Grandkids participated. Five of the boys practiced and performed a live band number complete with guitars and drums while my brother, Uncle Rich, sang. My husband Ron sang "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" while my niece Amy interpreted in sign language (she is nationally certified as an interpreter). Then there were two other musical parodies the Grandkids performed which included choreography and singing.

We had a "white elephant" gift exchange with the adults--limit $5.00-- and the kids exchanged names, but with the focus off of buying and on giving ourselves, a whole new realm was opened up--especially for the kids. What a wonderfully full day that was. Everyone had such a great time.

4. And finally, focus on the presence of one another, not presents.

We kicked off Christmas day by attending a Christmas Eve service the night before. The service was warm and personal. I really thought it was an exceptional night. Usually reluctant to attend, the kids each commented on how good it was...and of course...holding lit candles is always a plus.

Christmas day we were home all day with nowhere to go. We were pajama-clad the entire day. The pile of presents under the tree was smaller than in previous years, but that is largely due to the fact that as the kids are getting older, their gift choices are getting more expensive yet smaller in size! However, I think they were just as excited over getting new socks as they were their one "big" gift. One of my treasured gifts was given to me by my oldest son. Unsolicited, he came up behind me while I was fixing dinner, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and then walked away.

We have all marvelled at what an exceptional Christmas this was; not exhausting, not pressure-filled, not stressful at trying to fill expectations that are never satisfied, but just simplified and re-focused. It truly was a blessed Christmas and one I am still savoring. Time seemed to slow down this Christmas and for that I'm thankful.

I have lots of ponderings to share about the New Year...but I won't rush... there's plenty of time to do that.