Totally Teens

**As a side note...Thanks to each one of you for your encouraging comments on my last post. I appreciate your kind words greatly!**



It's here! The event that I pondered many years ago, is about to take place! This Saturday will mark our passage into a household occupied by 4 teenagers! My youngest turns 13 on Saturday. Hard to believe! And a bit overwhelming! Her birthday marks the beginning of "birthday season" for the kids, so their soon-to-be ages will be 13, 15, 17 and 19. Wow, that looks so old when written out!

I can still picture my little one prancing down the street at the age of 2, decked out in her little tutu, wearing fairy wings. She was so little then. And now she is getting so "big". She is still the smallest, but her recent growth spurt is challenging that. I think I soon will be the shortest in my family!

With the dawn of this new age of total teenagers, I am excited, energized, overwhelmed and a little melancholy. I can so clearly remember when they were kindergarten age and younger, and I would daydream about the day they would all be in their teens, driving, dating, working; what would that look like? What would they look like? And now, to be actually living it...it is a bit mind-boggling. I can't believe my "baby" is 13. How can it be 13 years since I was last pregnant? That makes me sound...old...or at the very least...older! That came quickly--the transition from being one of the moms with young children, to one of the 'older moms' who has big kids. Yikes! This time thing is a bit frightening!

Those days when my children were little were a bit frightening as well. When Miss S, the youngest, was born, my oldest was in kindergarten! We brought her home to 3 siblings ages 5 and 3 years, and 20 months. I have to admit, there were days I thought I should be taken away in a straight jacket, but at the same time, this was life. This is what we did. We figured out our routines, or managed to find routine in the chaos. Others would look at our family and be overwhelmed for us. I'm not sure that was such a help, but at least there was some empathy for my husband and I being out numbered by 2 girls and 2 boys!

It was always clear to us that the Lord gave us each of our babies. Let's just say His planning superseded our planning! But of course, there were always those that felt the need to state their opinion about the addition of another child to our household. I remember one mother from the kindergarten class, when observing my protruding belly and eminent delivery, indignantly stated, "don't you have enough?" Then of course there were others that felt we were socially irresponsible for having 4 children when 'the world was overpopulated as it was'. And still others that challenged the notion that it was loving to bring children into such a corrupt and evil world. Ah, yes, the obnoxious input from those who feel the need to voice their opinion when not solicited, and for some reason think their opinion really matters anyway! (Please pardon my little ranting--I guess these "kinds" still bother me!) I'm glad I learned to tune these unwanted voices out a long time ago. It took me to the 4th child to do it...but I eventually learned to do it.

Today, as we embark in this new phase of life, I'm aware there are still "voices" giving their input; some from older parents who have navigated these teenage waters previously, others from households with far less inhabitants, and still others from those that have 'had it all', raised "perfect" kids and seem to think everyone should do it their way. I find it odd that I still must sift through unsolicited input tossed our way. (Okay, one more little ranting...I don't think kids fit a cookie cutter. Sure there are some principles that hold true, and it is smart to seek out wise counsel, but to think that one method or one "system" will work on all children is ridiculous. We found out long ago that we had to use different forms of discipline on each our kids. What would work with one child, would not work on the other. For example, "A" thought is was torture to have "time outs" and be separated from friends, while we discovered "C" loved "time outs" and the solitude. We would have to coax him out of his room!) Okay, ranting done...

I find it interesting that at a time when I thought life would be less busy, it is, if anything, more busy. At a time when I thought I would be wanting to be out of the house more and working full-time, the desire to be home more and working less is increasing! The need to be available seems much more critical now than in previous years. Everyday these teens encounter outside pressures, temptations, challenges and demands that are beyond what I was confronted with when I was their age. In the midst of a household that at times seems to have a revolving door, I find the need to be a calming presence, a "constant", so our teens can feel they have a safe refuge or as Dr. Phil would say, "a soft place to land."

You may have heard the sentiment that moving from one phase of childhood to another is not necessarily better, but "different." Well, I'd have to say that's true. In fact, I'm finding that reality for me is that these teen years are far more demanding than the earlier toddler years were. The long-term emotional toll of choices made or potential life-altering consequences of poor decisions are far greater. Instead of being fatigued by the demanding physical activity of a 3 year old, I'm fatigued from talking, engaging, discussing and arguing with a 17 year old. I still suffer from sleep deprivation from time to time as well. This time it isn't due to a sleepless, crying baby, but rather the absence of a child who is out with her friends, or the one driving home and I'm wondering if he'll make curfew, or the one who I haven't received a phone call from letting me know of his overnight plans with a college friend.

But it is all so wonderful at the same time. At times I am overwhelmed with the sheer joy of being around these young adults. "And we get the privilege of being their guardians?!" Wow! Each is such a wonderful human being; fun, joy-filled, compassionate, loving, giving, smart. I know I'm biased...but really, they are pretty spectacular! What a joy!

On Saturday when we sing "Happy Birthday" to the new teenager, I think I'll be singing a little praise song...thanking the Lord for this joyfully challenging time in life, and praying for his continuing help and guidance in the process!

Happy Birthday to us!