Mickey Says "Hi"

Well, actually, Mickey Mouse doesn't talk at Disneyland, but I'm sure he would have said hello if he could!

We're back from the Magic Kingdom. It was a great family trip, although a bit wild. Of course everyone is aware of the California wildfires and the devastation that ensued. We were up close and personal with one of the fires.

Last Sunday we traveled a little further south of Anaheim to meet my cousins and their families (who are California natives) for dinner. As we finished up dinner and our long conversations, we began smelling smoke. Stepping out of the restaurant we were amazed at the site. Our eyes burned from the wind and flying debris. The air was so thick with smoke and ashes that it hurt to breath. As we all hurried to our cars and said goodbye, we could see flames on the hillside in the distance. I have to admit we're all glad to be home. The smoke-filled skies, intense Santa Anna winds, and unseasonably warm weather (98 degrees) in California made coming home to the cool northwest that much sweeter.

These are the happy faces of my big kids as we explored Disney's California Adventure.

And the picture below is our family after experiencing Grizzly River Run for the first time. (I'm seriously considering using this as our Christmas card!) I got absolutely SOAKED! I was hard pressed to find a dry spot. In fact, this was the last picture taken on our digital camera which became a victim of water damage from the ride. Thankfully the picture card was still okay and we salvaged the few pictures we had taken. The rest of the trip was finished out with several disposable Kodaks!

Seasons

I love this time of year. Autumn seems to stir so many things inside of me, and yet, at the same time brings a calmness to my spirit.

I am inspired by the colors of the changing leaves that demonstrate God's artistry. What a wonderful palette He has used! I'm continually amazed that we are invited to enjoy his creativity and be blessed with this brilliance as the seasons change.

The chill in the air makes me feel "cozy". I become much more of a home body at this time of year, and quite domestic too! Cooking warm meals or baking goodies of some kind while kids are doing their homework as it gets dark outside all feels very comforting and soothing. Sitting by a warm fire place, sipping hot tea or cocoa, and wrapping up in a blanket while reading or watching a good movie is almost the ultimate in autumnal coziness.

Autumn is also a season filled with holidays that bring families together. Just the other day we were talking about Thanksgiving and Christmas! As everyone listed off their favorite dishes for each "feast", talk of 'where to put the Christmas tree' began to surface.

Yes, this is a good time of year.

But I find myself feeling melancholy. I think it is because the seasons of my life are yet again changing. Each new "season" brings with it, its own joys and sorrows. It is not unlike when your baby takes his or her first steps; how wonderfully exciting, yet sad all at the same time. You welcome a toddler while letting go of an infant.

I'm pretty certain I know the source of this melancholy. Identifying it is the first step to walking through it gracefully, right? (?) I know the realization that my kids are really growing up quickly is a biggie. How can it be that another child will be graduating this year and heading off to college next fall? How can it be that my baby girl will be entering high school next fall? Where did the days go when the biggest problem was getting my child to share his blocks with a friend? Now the choices have potentially life long consequences, and I increasingly realize that my ability to comfort or console my children and their "owies" is limited. I feel powerless when I see their hearts breaking, and I can't 'kiss it and make it better'. I'm learning that my only resource and strength comes from prayer and trust in the One that can meet their needs and bring peace to them. This 'releasing' is a continual exercise. Just when I think I'm getting pretty good at it, another test comes along just to help me see how tightly I'm still holding on.

Another source of melancholy is the realization that Mom is not doing very well, and it really seems likely that this could be the last Autumn we share with her. My Mother, along with my oldest sister came over for dinner on Sunday. We had a great afternoon of talking, eating and playing a game. But Mom was different, and it was noticeable. Her last oncologist report was that the chemo is getting to a place where it isn't "working" any longer and it may be time to talk about "alternatives". She is also beginning to show some new symptoms and signs that she is getting sicker.

As I sat next to my mother playing "Apples to Apples", I felt like I was sitting next to someone I didn't really know, yet she seemed so familiar somehow. She looked like my mom, but the mother I have known for all these years is not there. Cancer has changed her, and I find myself trying to grapple with the loss of a relationship I had known with her, knowing that it has passed forever.

I know it is especially easy at this time of year with the darker days, the rain and the cold, to experience "the blues", or be melancholy, but I'm working hard at focusing on the beauty of this season and this season of life I'm in. Even if I don't emotionally feel like it, deep in my spirit, I have hope and trust that the same God that has chosen Autumn as the season where a leaf reaches it's climax of beauty, is the same God that can make my life more beautiful, richer, more vibrant and still filled with hope for what is to come. I know there will be losses, but just like the changing from summer to autumn, I anticipate a new joy, a new surprise in what the next season of my life has in store.

The Classifieds

Recently, I've been looking on "Craigslist" for employment opportunities. (I may have mentioned once or twice that I'm really feeling the desire to move on from my present position as an office assistant to something else. What? I'm not sure, but I have been praying about it for many months and want to be open to what the Lord has for me!) I know everyone and their brothers are also looking for jobs, but nevertheless, it is kinda fun to peruse the various listings and see what's out there. Who knows, perhaps just the right thing will come along. I'm keeping my antennae up!

Today, as I was going through various searches, I came across the request for a "sandwich artist". Now, I'm pretty certain this is not a request for a person to paint lovely portraits of BLTs or PB& Js on whole wheat, but rather a very clever way of saying, 'we need someone who can make sandwiches'. This got me to thinking about how so many of the ads I've been looking through have been cleverly worded in hopes of luring in job seekers to take the bait and inquire further.

This is where you come in; What clever descriptions have you come across for the most mundane of jobs or services? Is there certain wording that would actually entice you to inquire about a job position?

**By the way, I in no way have meant to be insulting or belittling to the sandwich artist. I love sandwiches and am appreciative of those artists who share their skills with the world.

The Happiest Place on Earth

October is here, and excitement is building around our house. Why, you may ask? Because we're going to Disneyland!! Yep, it is true! The whole gang is heading to Disneyland in less than 3 weeks! Work schedules have been arranged, notifying teachers has begun and vacation time put on the calendar a year ago is quickly approaching.

We figured it has been about 11 years since we last visited Disneyland. Ground-breaking was just beginning on Disney's California Adventure park. I remember looking at the pictures of the proposed park and gazing at the vast undeveloped space as we rode past it on the monorail. The last time we were there, our children, with the exception of 1, didn't meet the height requirements on the bigger rides, or the kiddos were too frightened to even try a lot of the attractions that seemed a bit overwhelming. (And maybe riding "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" as one of the first rides wasn't a good idea either!) We did find the carousel and "Dumbo" to be "safe" favorites.

This year, all 6 of us are committed to going on (almost) every ride. There are a few exceptions. Half of our group isn't real keen on roller-coaster-type, jerky, wild rides. The other half (of which I am a part) is game for almost anything and will at least try it once. My oldest son, now 19, proclaimed proudly (tongue in cheek), "Mom, I don't think I'll be afraid like I was last time. I'm even going to go on Splash Mountain because I'm a big boy now!"

Another part of this southern California adventure is that we are flying! Our previous trip was a road trip, which was lots of fun. (I had made surprise bags for the kids that were Disney related. Every 100 miles they were each given a new surprise bag to open. This year, my big kids have each asked if they get surprise treat bags on the airplane!) We decided to fly this time for a couple of reasons: time frame was limited so this would maximize our play time; and 3 of our 4 kids have never been on a airplane! This is something we wanted to share with them and be a part of. Needless to say that getting there will be a big part of the fun.

To a lot of families, taking trips like this is common place; they do it yearly or perhaps a couple of times a year, and fly everywhere. But to us, this is a big deal. We haven't taken a lot of family vacations together for various reasons, and flying has always been a costly luxury. With a family of 6 and one income for most of those past years (I started working part time about 4 years ago at various jobs) we looked for ways to cut corners wherever we could. Most of our family time together has been weekend trips to the coast, or day trips around the state.

Perhaps that is what adds to the excitement of this trip; our kids, because they're older, understand and appreciate that this really is a 'big deal'. My son asked me why we were doing this now and wondered if we had 'come into some money' that would allow us to go on a trip of this expense. I assured him that, 'no, we hadn't won the lottery', but rather we knew this potentially could be the last time that just the 6 of us will vacation together. Our children are quickly approaching the ages (or are already there) that, in reality, from here on out, we could have a new spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend accompanying us on these family trips; or perhaps the kids would need to be absent because or work or their college schedule won't allow it. Sure it is making finances all that much tighter at home, and funds we could use to decorate or make some changes in our new home have been reallocated to vacation time, but I know that the Lord has made this time possible. I keep coming back to that. What a joy to have the opportunity to spend time together playing, being silly, and genuinely enjoying being family together. We can hardly wait.

The sign at the main entrance to Disneyland proudly proclaims that it is, "The happiest place on earth." But I think I'd have to contest that. Right now, our home is the happiest place on earth as we anticipate our trip to Disneyland!

Examining My Life Map

I am amazed, on a daily basis, at God's very presence in my life. I don't know why I am so thick headed, or dull that I can't grasp this reality consistently, but I am so thankful that He reminds me and makes His presence known.

Many months ago my blog consisted of thoughts about this transitional phase of life I'm in and everything that comes with it; and today I'm still pondering these things. I know I'm not alone and that actually, I'm pretty "normal" I suppose. I wouldn't call this a "crisis". It isn't. I don't feel that I'm in damage-control mode, but rather more of a 'navigational-ly challenged' mode as I head into uncharted waters.

Looking back, I had hopes and desires, and made plans. By God's grace I was able to do those things that I had wanted to do: I went to college, got married, had children and chose to stay home and forego any kind of working career to do that. I trusted the kids would grow up and then __________________ . Hm, hadn't thought about this part.

Perhaps somewhere in my thinking years ago when I was making my life plans, I had the notion that since I would be in my 'later 4o's' when my kids started to leave the nest I would decide that continuing to stay at home would be satisfactory; or I'd have some kind of hobby that would engulf me, or perhaps I had the audacity to think that 40-something was "old" and I wouldn't really have the energy or desire to do much of anything else. I don't know. But somehow, this part of life was not mapped out in my brain. And so here I am today, in a quandary.

Knowing that after this year, half of my children will be out of high school and another 4 years after that the other half will be out, I feel this urgency to 'get it together' and figure out what I want to be when I grow up...or at least when my kids grow up. But reality is, if viewed throught the secular eye, there aren't a lot of options out there for a later 40's, stay-at-home mom, part-time, Jill-of-all-trades-master-of-none-type woman to do.

I wouldn't trade these many years of being able to stay home with my kids for anything. I know that it has been a wonderful investment, and far more fulfilling than having a career, or some other kind of time-investment would have been. But there is an angst; a longing deep inside, almost an excitement as I'm embracing the reality of this new phase. I want to work, I want to be involved in a ministry of some kind, I want to be making a difference in the world around me. I'm realizing that now is the time in my life that I really have time and energy to give to something else. My energy level is so much more than when I had small children. (I was physically exhausted for at least 10 years of my life!) But there is another side to this coin. Along with maturity in age, I also have a greater appreciation or acknowledgement that, because of prior choices, I am not a real market-able person in the work place so my options are very limited. Even in ministry, I'm not one of the younger, "happening" people, but rather viewed as one of the older women now. (When did that happen??)

And so, this brings me to the question or questions that I've been pondering a lot these days. Believing that the life I live is bigger than what I see with my eyes, bigger than what the world says, but rather a truly spiritual, redeemed life, I find myself asking, "What Lord--what am I to do with this part of my life? What do YOU want to do with my life? What do I do with this desire and drive you've placed there? How can you work these together to serve you?"

I know inside of me there is a bit of doubt and fear that somehow I will miss what He's trying to teach me, or I'll miss the opportunity, or the call, or something. I may be an intuitive, perceptive person on one level, but on another level, I can be totally obtuse and sometimes look right past the obvious. In the back of my mind I've been battling the 'what-if-I-miss-it' self-talk. Honestly, times like this are when I wish for that postcard from Heaven that says, "Okay, Cheryl, this is what you will be doing; go first to point A, then B, and so on. But we all know, that faith doesn't work this way. Faith is about what we don't see, what we don't know, but trusting the One who does.

So, the Lord continues to build my faith; and this is where I get goose bumps. This very week, the Lord has been speaking directly to me about this process through scripture. Daily He has shown me His truth that speaks to my spirit and addresses me, right where I am, at this moment on my time line.

I'd like to share a few of the passgaes He showed me this week, and in turn I hope it will be an encouragement to you as well:

Isaiah 30:21: Whether you turn ot the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

Isaiah 32:6: He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge...The fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.

Isaiah 41:9,10: I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my Servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you, so do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isn't God good? I have had such peace this week as I rest in his Word and promises. He hasn't forgotten me; He is mindful of me and reassures me that He is at work, even today. My rest comes from abiding in Him and not in the circumstances of my life. He is more than able to figure out what the next chapter of my life is...I don't have to "worry"or be fearful about it.--or even worry that I'll miss it because I wasn't paying attention. If I'm looking to Him, having reverence for Him and seeking after Him only, I will fall in step with what He is doing and what He wants to do in me and through me.

This "transitional phase of life" is only transitional to me, not to the Lord. To Him, this is just the next step on the path of where He is leading, which gives me hope and even more excitement of what is yet to be. I'm so thankful for His revelation of that truth to me this week.

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Last night was the first home game of the season for our high school football team. My daughter, a sophomore, and my son, a senior, were very excited for the first game of the year. It was pretty fun being around them as they made plans with friends and prepared for the game.

My son had requested face paints before the game. He explained to me 'how things work' at the games and his "responsibility" as a senior. Evidently the first several rows in the stands at the football field are "reserved" for the seniors, and, it is expected that if you are a senior male, you will come to the game with, at the very least, your face painted to show school pride! So part of our errand-running yesterday was a jaunt to Party City to get red, black and white face paints...the school colors of The Crimson Tide. This picture is of my son exuding school spirit. Although he looks a little scary here, I assure you he has a very tender, gentle heart!

My daughter made preparations for the game by working on her hair. The biggest decision was whether to wear the crimson colored ribbon around her pony tail. After deliberation, it was decided that it was "too much" and that she would only wear her school tee shirt and minimal face paints. The picture is of her and her good friend as they head out the door to cheer their team on, complete with football-player-esque black under her eyes.

Finding myself at home alone last night as my husband was having a "guys night out" and my other kids were elsewhere, I scanned the free cable movies to find a movie to watch while sipping a cup of hot tea. Although not intentionally meaning to carry on the football theme of the evening, I decided upon "Facing the Giants", a true story about a Christian high school football team and their coach. I had heard about this little gem awhile ago and had wanted to see it for sometime. What a great movie! Not an Oscar-worthy movie by any means, but the message and truth behind it is good.

I discovered my new, "favorite" quote in a scene where the football coach is talking to one of his a team members about his lack of respect toward his father. The coach says to the young man, " Your attitude is the aroma of your heart".

Isn't that great? I have thought about that throughout the day today and have actually caught myself a few times when I was having a negative "aroma".

It was a good night of football...on and off the field. Even though our high school team lost, everyone came home in good spirits. The kids are already thinking ahead to next Friday night, anticipating another cool autumn evening filled with cheers, face paints and great memories made with friends.

Aah.....I love this time of year and the smiling faces of my dear children.