Friday, November 24, 2006

A Thanks-Giving Eve


It was a good Thanksgiving day. We had a "little" Thanksgiving gathering--My husband and myself, our 4 kids, my mother and one of my sisters and two of her kids. Everyone enjoyed themselves. We ate good food, watched a DVD, laughed, played a game, shared some stories, and went to bed with full tummies.

Even though the actual holiday was a blessing, I think I enjoyed "Thanksgiving Eve" almost more so. No, this isn't some strange family tradition that my family has--we don't attend Thanksgiving Eve services at church and sing Puritan songs, or beg to eat 'just one appetizer' the night before the big feast, or leave treats out for some mythically huge turkey who will come and leave us surprises--but we do prepare for the coming feast day in a somewhat ritualistic manner. There are pies to be made, jello salad that needs to be "molded", sweet potatoes that need to be cooked prior to being "candied"; special family dishes that need to be mixed together, ready to be cooked the next day.

There was something different about this "eve". All of my plans were thrown out the window when I woke up Wednesday morning extremely nauseous. This is definitely NOT how one wants to feel the day before Thanksgiving! I hadn't been feeling well for a few days, but convinced myself I was just tired, or just out of sorts--anything but sick. However, Wednesday morning convinced me that some "bug" had taken over my insides. After calling into work as a "no show" and canceling my last physical therapy session, I chose to get back into bed, unable to do much of anything else.

Crawling into bed I felt that sensation of worry mixed with responsibility, with a dash of obligation thrown in there. "We have to have Thanksgiving dinner! And what about Mom and my sister and her kids? They are planning on sharing the day with us!?!'

Then, clearly, impressed on my mind were the very words from James that I had been reading these past days in my Bible.
Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city,
spend a year there, carry on business and make money, [or have Thanksgiving
dinner and have the family over?
]." Why, you do not even know what will
happen tomorrow. Instead you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we
will live and do this or that." James 4:13-15

In the next chapter, James writes, "Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray..."

Well, that's a novel idea. Surrendering Thanksgiving to the Lord. Hhmm. Surely James is only talking about our goals and ambitions, isn't he? Could he really be suggesting that I surrender everything to the Lord and ask Him if it is His will?? Yep, I think so. I couldn't shake it. God wants the details of our lives...even something that seems as benign as a holiday gathering.

So that's what I did. I prayed. I know this seems simple enough. I would love to say that prayer is always my first response to troubled or trying situations, but usually prayer comes in about third place. My initial reaction is just that, a reaction, complete with worry, agitation or grief, followed by a responsive action which kicks in my analyze-and-problem-solve-mode, working at finding a resolution to the situation. Then, finally third, is praying after I've settled down enough and have really thought about things. I'm working at having prayer be a first response....it's a process...but I'm learning!

So, finally, I prayed about this Thanksgiving Eve situation. I thanked the Lord for a cozy bed to sleep in, for a job that I can call in sick to (and know it won't be a huge inconvenience to my employer), for an illness that I was hopeful would last only a few days. And then I turned Thanksgiving over to the Lord. 'What do you want to do regarding Thanksgiving? I don't have a clue. Please show me what's what...and please work in Ron and kids and show them too and let us all know how this will work, if it will work, should we cancel, etc., okay?' t sounded like a lame-o prayer, but I knew the Lord would understand, and thankfully the Holy Spirit interprets! It was as eloquent I could muster in my compromised state.

I fell asleep and awakened 2 hours later.

I had such a peace. There was such a peace in knowing that whatever happened with Thanksgiving, God was in control.

As the day continued on, it was a day filled with blessings and joy as I watched God take care of the details. After sleeping, I felt a little better, but still on the "benched" list. The kids all rallied after school to pitch in and prepare things. Ron had called me from work and suggested we postpone the dinner until Sunday when I would hopefully be feeling better. I called my sister and Mom and gave them the heads up that things were not shaping up as I had planned, but, we could still possibly "do" Thanksgiving if the Lord cleared the way to do so. Everyone was on "stand by".

By dinner time, I was feeling pretty good! I had some energy and was able to eat a little bit. Things were looking up! I felt well enough to "do" Thanksgiving dinner and felt like the Lord was giving the green light to go ahead and inform my relatives to plan on it. I still had some grocery shopping to do, needing to gather those last few remaining items, so I enlisted my children to go to the store with me. They all willingly complied. We carried out our "divide and conquer" game plan at Winco and got done in record time amidst the masses. We actually had fun! Everyone was very much in a holiday spirit.

Once we got home, it was time to prepare the "favorite" dishes that would compliment the feast. So once again, having previously asked each of the children and Ron what food item they most wanted to have at the Thanksgiving dinner, I had that child help prepare their requested favorite. Everyone took a turn in the kitchen, mixing and measuring. It was so much fun. My daughter was ecstatic over making her first pecan pie ever!

Exhausted, I finally sat down 2 pies, 1 jello salad, 1 apple crisp, and one rice/broccoli casserole later. Looking around the living room, I realized that all six of us were present--at the same time--in the same room! This was a rare occasion! We began talking about the coming day, sharing what we like best about the holiday, discussing when we should put the outdoor Christmas lights up, and then figuring out the placement of this year's Christmas tree and arrangement of furniture. Someone shared a holiday memory, which began a stream of stories that made us all laugh and smile. We had such a great time together. Even my oldest son who seems to be rarely home, turned down repeated requests by friends to go out and socialize. We just enjoyed being together. It was such a blessing.

Thanksgiving day was really nice. The food was good. I felt better, although not great and not fully healthy. Everyone seemed to really enjoy the day. But really, Thanksgiving Eve, was my favorite part of the holiday. What a blessing from the Lord! He attended to details, worked in each person to make things "flow" and was so present in our family time. We couldn't have "planned" an evening like that--He orchestrated it beautifully.

I'm thankful for the lesson I learned this week about the simplicity of following the Lord. If I'm in trouble-- pray. Don't become locked-in to "plans", but instead, ask 'God, is this your will?' Then leave the driving and guiding to Him.

Friday, November 17, 2006

I'm Chevy Chase, and You're Not!




And now, it's time for the WEEKEND UPDATE.
Okay, I've dated myself... But those who remember SNL ( "Saturday Night Live") in its golden days (mid-1970's to early '80's) will remember Chevy Chase's famous tag line as he presented THE WEEKEND UPDATE, weekly...on Saturday nights...live. It just seemed fitting as I pieced together this entry. (At least I didn't use Dan Aykroyd's "Jane, you ignorant ..." That would have been hard to work into a post!)

Really, this is a post about "updates" not SNL or Chevy. Onward!

Rather than bore you with a long laborious post I thought I would share a few updates on life as we enter into the weekend.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
This is my birthday weekend--Sunday to be exact--#47! (How can that be??) Time to celebrate! Plans are in the works to have a girls night out ( possibly a slumber party too) with my two sisters at my oldest sister's house. It should be a really fun, relaxing time with lots of talking and laugher! A joint, family-dinner-out-at-a-nice-restaurant-celebration is also planned with my husband and the kids to celebrate my spouse's birthday as well. His big day was a week and a half ago and was a big one! We're still trying to coordinate everyone's schedules to make this dinner thing happen.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

I am now 7 weeks past my wrist surgery. It has gone quickly. I am continuing to have physical therapy weekly and will for another couple of weeks. At my 6 week check the doctor said I was 'right where I should be' in the healing process, so that's great news. This week was the first that I've gone completely without wearing my splint! Woohoo! I also only took Advil one day this week and there are more days without swelling than days with! My pain level is pretty much nil. The tricky part now is regaining coordination and strength in my hand and wrist and stretching daily to work out the stiffness and get my range of motion back. I even have some pretty neon yellow "putty" to play with!

I have two sets of scars; one on the top side of my wrist where they repaired the frayed edges of torn cartilage, and then on the palm side of my hand and wrist where he decompressed the ulnar nerve. I have a wild zig zag scar from almost mid-palm (centered under my ring finger) down to my wrist. It zigs, then zags, then zigs again. It is improving daily and according to the doctor, a year from now it will blend in more!! (ugh!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mom began chemotherapy this week. The doctors determined this was her "window" if she was going to try it. She has a lot of peace in that decision and one that she made on her own. We are all supportive of whatever she decides--its her life. So far she is doing well and feeling optimistic. It will be another week or so before she really begins demonstrating side affects, but so far she has felt good, just tired.

I don't know why things happen like this, but this past Wednesday, just prior to receiving her first chemo, Mom received a call informing her that her sister, Helen, had died early that morning. She is Mom's oldest sibling, and the last member alive of her immediate family. It was a surprise. Although Aunt Helen had been in an Alzheimers care facility, she had been in good health and doing relatively well, I believe. (Aunt Helen was 75? Something like that. My Mom is 68.) Although they don't have all the information yet my cousin, Steve, said it appears she went to bed Tuesday night and died sometime during the night in her sleep. God is so merciful.


Please be praying for Mom as she is on this part of her journey. It is such an unknown, but she is knowing the Lord deeper in new ways as she moves forward.

********

My mother-in-law was hospitalized last weekend. They are still trying to determine what is wrong with her, but have narrowed it down to a possibility of two very serious viruses. She has had declining health all year, but regardless of how often she is hospitalized and we all think "this is it", she comes back from the edge of death and keeps going strong. We are praying that the Lord will take her home to Heaven quickly and peacefully when His timing is right. Please pray for my husband and his sisters as they continue addressing her needs and continue to make decisions regarding her care and treatment. Please pray for peace for my mother-in-law.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I have been working full-time hours for about 4 weeks now. My little part-time clerical job (15-20 hours a week doing basic clerical work) has suddenly hit high speed, fast and furious, as the insurance guy I work for is in the middle of a big project. It has been a bit tricky adjusting to this kind of schedule and accomplishing anything at home, or do any kind of floral work--but so far, so good. The extra money will be great as we head into the holidays and, again, God's provision, he is supplying all of our needs for a few financial "things" we hadn't anticipated. I have enjoyed being busy and even more-so since my hand and wrist continue to heal. This schedule should continue through February or March and then taper off again.

@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

The Holidays are coming. Not really sure I'm "ready" for them, but sipping a peppermint mocha at Starbucks last night helped a wee bit. It felt "special". I started feeling the stirrings of holiday-ish-ness. It made me think of one of my favorite Christmas-season songs, "Silver Bells." I connected with this song at some point in my childhood and I've always loved it. It makes me feel all warm and cozy. Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters do the best version on Bing's Christmas album...yes I said album...or as my kids used to say when they were little, 'the really big CD's'.


"Silver Bells"

Silver Bells, Silver Bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring
Soon it will be Christmas Day

City sidewalks
Busy sidewalks
Dressed in holiday style
In the air there's
A feeling of Christmas
Children laughing
People passing
Meeting smile after smile
And on every
Street corner you'll hear

Silver Bells, Silver Bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them sing
Soon it will be Christmas Day

Strings of street lights
Even stoplights
Blink a bright red and green
As the shoppers rush home
With their treasures
Hear the snow crunch
See the kids bunch
This is Santa's big scene
And above all
This bustle you'll here

Silver Bells, Silver Bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them sing
Soon it will be Christmas Day

Silver Bells, Silver Bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them sing
Soon it will be Christmas Day

Soon it will be Christmas Day

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself, first things first...

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Ad-vo-ca-cy: Speaking up

ad·vo·ca·cy n.
The act of pleading or arguing in favor of something, such as a cause, idea, or policy; active support.

Advocacy. This "idea" has been on my mind a lot lately. It seems I'm encountering it almost daily. Though the venues are different, the heart of the matter is the same...individuals with passionate conviction who argue in favor of or show their active support, speaking truth on behalf of someone or something.

Many fellow bloggers have recently been advocates, or have found themselves becoming advocates. My friend Kim shares her "October Blues" experience about being an advocate for her church, supporting the building of relationships and connecting with one another in the church body. Jennifer, another dear one, who is passionate about others sharing their story of how God has moved in their life and is anticipating the unifying effect it will have on the church family. My newly transplanted blogging friend from Mississippi Yolanda has become an advocate for Pacific Northwest living and presenting the case for enjoying the beauty that surrounds this area and the One who created it. And then, there are still others like Leah who challenges us all to "Cooperate with Joy", or Libby who examines advocacy up close and shares that with us in her "Pain Killer" entry; and a couple of my fellow blogging "brothers" Dean and Dallas who discuss the recent confession of the hidden lifestyle and sin of Ted Haggard, and their plea in favor of being Christ-like, advocating a response from fellow believers that is grace-filled.

In my own experiences as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, Believer, church member, leader, employee... etc., I have been called to be an advocate quite a lot lately. I'm discovering it is not for the faint of heart. Although my "platforms" have been on a much smaller scale and not as profound as some others, I find a kinship with other advocates. I think of well known advocates like Martin Luther King, Jr., Billy Graham, and Gandhi and consider the price they paid for "speaking up". There seems to always be a "cost" to being an advocate; it may be as minimal as someone just verbally communicating disagreement, or on the extreme end of the spectrum, bodily injury or even death if the wrong person is ticked off.

So, I ponder-- Why speak up for someone we don't know, or some value or principle we strongly believe is right and truthful?; Why take on the cause of fighting injustices even when it doesn't directly affect us?

I consider scripture that speaks of being an advocate. Proverbs 31:8, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and the needy." And Luke 10:27, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, love your neighbor as yourself." I'm convicted in that I am called to this life of "speaking up" for others or injustices. I have a responsibility to my "neighbor"--to actively love them. (The story of the Good Samaritan lives this out)

I'm challenged by the practice of advocacy, serving in word and deed, and keenly aware at how often I fail in it. I can see the need to "speak up" all around me, or live out my convictions by my actions and yet, at times, I'm too much of a chicken to do what is right. I can default into 'self-protect' mode and stay quiet rather than arguing in favor of a cause or stand against injustices; or my skin is still a little too thin and I fear a critical comment or two. This is what I am growing in these days...being confronted with...internally being asked the question, "What will you do with this, Cheryl?" It's scary and unknown, but good. The conviction and call to be Christ-like keeps me driving forward one step at a time.


Baby steps and practice... that's what I'm learning, but I want to press on. This is just the beginning and believe me, I'm fumbling through this more than I'm feeling "successful". I want to be an "advocate" for advocacy and ask you to join me. If you need a starting point, I'd suggest checking out blogging brother Brad's (I couldn't resist the alliteration) recently posted pictures. This moving post should compel us all to act, or react as the case may be. At the very least it should convict us all to answer that mass-mailed "Thanksgiving Dinner" donation plea we all receive from the local rescue mission. Baby steps.... I've also included two links below to some other "causes" that are dear to my heart that I want to "speak up" for. I encourage you to check them out and become involved in some manner.


The Dalit Freedom Network is an organization that my family became acquainted with this past year. The "Dalits" of India are known as "the untouchables" and it means just what the name implies. I had the opportunity to go to India this past year and had the privilege of meeting some Dalit women. I was overwhelmed on so many levels. I caught only a glimpse and minimal understanding of the injustices these dear people face daily...but my heart was broken. My family joyfully sponsors a Dalit child through this website, so that they can attend school and have hope in their lives. I encourage you to consider becoming involved in their lives as well.

Another "cause" that has come to the forefront this past week is on behalf of my dear friend "K" and her family. K's brother and sister-in-law have been imprisoned for trying to rescue their daughter, Brittany (K's niece)from known abuse at the hands of Brittany's biological father. Our twisted court system is not protecting Brittany, but rather has given her over to the biological father. Save Our Brittany is a developing website where more will be coming forward on how to help and support this devastated family and ways you can be involved in being an advocate for them. Please be praying for them, pleading their cause to our Heavenly Father (a prayer guide is posted on the website) and please send them notes of encouragement via the website.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Forecast: Partly Cloudy with a few Showers


I just had to give a weather update following my previous, "Stormy Weather" post. No, things haven't changed 180 degrees, but there have been a few moments where the clouds have parted and a ray of sun has shone through. Or should I say the "Son" has shone through.

God is so good to me. To us. I'm so thankful for his gentle reminders that he is always at work in our lives, even when we may not think it is so or feel like it. Remember when I said that experience has shown me that just when I come to the end of myself, God swoops in showing his sovereignty and power? Well, He did that last night at church. God's fingerprints were all over the evening.

What is interesting to me, is that now, in retrospect, I can see the intensity of the spiritual battle going on throughout the day prior to church time; everything to discourage us from making it to church last night. It was our (my husband and I) evening to sing on the worship team. Both of us woke up yesterday feeling totally exhausted. I am fighting some kind of sinus stuff, and he was tired from a long week at work at a physically demanding job. His back felt as if it would spasm at any moment. Our youngest child is sick with a bad cold and was not feeling up to going to church (she's old enough to stay by herself and quite an independent sort), one was working and the other two had involvements at church that required some coordinating of schedules. Honestly, it would have been much easier to just bag the whole day and start over tomorrow.

But, because of the commitment we had to singing we knew we had to be there, so we went, feeling totally drained and fatigued. During our pre-service prayer time we just surrendered to the Lord and knew we had to be dependent on Him--we both felt we had nothing to give. (We always know this, especially when participating in leading worship--but it was even more so last night.) From that moment onward, it was evident that God took us at our heart pleadings, and took over--From the songs that we sang, to the song my husband sang as a solo, to the encouragement of conversations with dear friends, and the convergence of people in the right place at the right time, to an impromptu meeting, to hearts being open and humble, to grace given and received--God was so present, not only redeeming the day, but showering us with his presence and love. It's kind of funny (odd) that last night's message was entitled, "Running from God". For me, a more accurate title would have been, "Hearing from God and running right into His arms!"

I'm still in the storm. But I'm so thankful for the break in the clouds. For the respite of sonshine that warms me and encourages me to keep going. I'm thankful for the prayers of many and am reminded to be praying for others in their storms.

God is Faithful!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Stormy Weather


It has been hard to blog lately. I'll confess, I have felt a little "dry" when it comes to thinking of things to post on my blog. Not because my brain isn't churning with thoughts, but rather, I don't want to be a downer or sound like a whiner. But I'm conflicted...I want to be real. I feel the call on my life to be authentic and transparent. This means blogging even when I'm not feeling particularly inspired or creative.

Life has been extremely difficult for many weeks if not months. I am feeling pressed on all sides. Almost every relationship, every role, every responsibility is being challenged and tried. I am mindful of the blessings in my life, mindful of God's provision, and trust that He really knows how much I can handle...but it is feeling like too much--more than I can continually bear. But still, I will myself to continue to trust and believe that He is able. Experience has taught me that whenever I finally reach my point of feeling completely helpless and powerless, God swoops in, showing his power and sovereignty. So I tell myself, ' just hang in there a little longer'. But once again, I find myself dabbling in my insecurities and the uncertainties, the heaviness, the emotions, the despair...the unknown.

'Really, God, can you make something good out of all this muck? Can you do it soon? I don't know how much longer I can hang on.....'

Today, as I was driving on the freeway, I put in an old Dennis Jernigan CD which "happened" to be in the car, that I hadn't listened to for years. Seemingly out of order, a song came on, its words pierced my heart.


You Will Be My Rock
by Dennis Jernigan

When stormy weather comes against me, ravaging my heart...
Some storms seem so long they never cease.
When stormy weather comes against me, take me where you are,
In your arms a constant state of peace!

You will be my Shelter! A place where I can run!
A Rock! A sure Foundation that cannot be overcome!
You will be my Refuge! A place where I can go!
A Rock that will surround me when
the winds begin to blow!

When the winds blow and the waves crash all
around me, You are like an island in the middle of the sea!
When the winds blow, stormy waves about to drown me,
You will come surrounding with a Refuge of Peace!

You will be my Fortress! A place where I can hide!
A strong and mighty Warrior who will never leave my side!
You will be my Father! My heart will be your home!
A Rock that can't be shaken when the
winds begin to blow!
You will be my Rock!
You will be my Shelter!
You will be my Rock!
You will be the Shelter for my soul!

When everything around me seems to fall into the sea,
Crushed by waves that beat incessantly,
When everything I've trusted in just falls away from me,
In your arms I find securty.


Reflecting on the words of this song, I continued driving toward my destination. Passing by an old church, I noticed their sign which had the church name and hours for the services. Below this, where the sermon title would usually be found were the words, "God Is Faithful."

Thank you Lord, I'm listening.

So, today, I'm choosing to cling to my Rock for another round of crashing waves, fully aware that I may get drenched in the process, but not carried out to sea. I may get wind-blown, but not ravaged by the raging wind, because I'm going to choose to hide in my Shelter. As Psalm 62 says, "'He only is my rock and my salvation..."

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me today that you are always present, all powerful, all knowing. Thank you for speaking directly to me. Please encourage others on the journey as well, that you will be our Strength, a very present help in time of trouble.