Stormy Weather

It has been hard to blog lately. I'll confess, I have felt a little "dry" when it comes to thinking of things to post on my blog. Not because my brain isn't churning with thoughts, but rather, I don't want to be a downer or sound like a whiner. But I'm conflicted...I want to be real. I feel the call on my life to be authentic and transparent. This means blogging even when I'm not feeling particularly inspired or creative.

Life has been extremely difficult for many weeks if not months. I am feeling pressed on all sides. Almost every relationship, every role, every responsibility is being challenged and tried. I am mindful of the blessings in my life, mindful of God's provision, and trust that He really knows how much I can handle...but it is feeling like too much--more than I can continually bear. But still, I will myself to continue to trust and believe that He is able. Experience has taught me that whenever I finally reach my point of feeling completely helpless and powerless, God swoops in, showing his power and sovereignty. So I tell myself, ' just hang in there a little longer'. But once again, I find myself dabbling in my insecurities and the uncertainties, the heaviness, the emotions, the despair...the unknown.

'Really, God, can you make something good out of all this muck? Can you do it soon? I don't know how much longer I can hang on.....'

Today, as I was driving on the freeway, I put in an old Dennis Jernigan CD which "happened" to be in the car, that I hadn't listened to for years. Seemingly out of order, a song came on, its words pierced my heart.

You Will Be My Rock
by Dennis Jernigan

When stormy weather comes against me, ravaging my heart...
Some storms seem so long they never cease.
When stormy weather comes against me, take me where you are,
In your arms a constant state of peace!

You will be my Shelter! A place where I can run!
A Rock! A sure Foundation that cannot be overcome!
You will be my Refuge! A place where I can go!
A Rock that will surround me when
the winds begin to blow!

When the winds blow and the waves crash all
around me, You are like an island in the middle of the sea!
When the winds blow, stormy waves about to drown me,
You will come surrounding with a Refuge of Peace!

You will be my Fortress! A place where I can hide!
A strong and mighty Warrior who will never leave my side!
You will be my Father! My heart will be your home!
A Rock that can't be shaken when the
winds begin to blow!
You will be my Rock!
You will be my Shelter!
You will be my Rock!
You will be the Shelter for my soul!

When everything around me seems to fall into the sea,
Crushed by waves that beat incessantly,
When everything I've trusted in just falls away from me,
In your arms I find securty.

Reflecting on the words of this song, I continued driving toward my destination. Passing by an old church, I noticed their sign which had the church name and hours for the services. Below this, where the sermon title would usually be found were the words, "God Is Faithful."

Thank you Lord, I'm listening.

So, today, I'm choosing to cling to my Rock for another round of crashing waves, fully aware that I may get drenched in the process, but not carried out to sea. I may get wind-blown, but not ravaged by the raging wind, because I'm going to choose to hide in my Shelter. As Psalm 62 says, "'He only is my rock and my salvation..."

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me today that you are always present, all powerful, all knowing. Thank you for speaking directly to me. Please encourage others on the journey as well, that you will be our Strength, a very present help in time of trouble.