Retreat Ruminations

Overall, the retreat was a "good" one. Going to the coast was enjoyable. The weather was wet and at times stormy but so refreshing! It is always good to get away to the coast.

I won't reflect on the message of the speaker (See my friend Kim's recent post. She has a great synopsis of what we heard and were challenged with), or the specifics of leading worship, but I do want to share my encounter with God during the weekend (which actually is what worship is about--so I guess I'm talking about worship after all.) Ask any of the women who attended and each will tell you a different story of how they were impacted and how God revealed Himself to them.

As background information, prior to the retreat weekend, I prepared each worship session separately from the retreat organizers and the speaker, relying on God's Spirit to direct. I had a skeleton outline of the speaker's notes to give some guidelines in preparation which was helpful in choosing the genre of songs, scripture to be used, etc., during worship times. Anytime I've prepared to lead worship, there is that little (big) question mark of not knowing if everything will flow together until that moment when all the components are brought together. I ask myself, am I really in tune with Him? Did I hear Him right?

As another part of worship, some of us had brainstormed prior to the retreat about creative ways to involve the women and give them a tactile way of remembering what God was showing them. A mosaic was to be the "tool" for this proverbial "stake in the ground" or pile of rocks as a remembrance of that moment--that "thing" that God was showing them that needed to be released or remembered; shame confronted, or truth embraced--was to be placed securely in Christ (represented by the cross shape of the backing) and surrendered to Him. (See Jennifer's post, "We Are a Mosaic" for more detail about the mosaic project.) In our mind's eyes we could "see" how beautiful this could be. We were energized just thinking about it and eager to have the women participate. But still, we wondered how they would receive it. Would they willingly participate? Is it totally corny?

Another element that we were going to weave into the weekend was a music video. The Lord had put on my heart the song, "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns. I asked "Tim" at church (the visual arts guy) if he could put something together. Because of my last minute request (!) and needing to expedite things, Tim was more than gracious and put together a wonderful visual using his talents and gifts, but I was not able to view the video until we were down at the retreat! Again, another unknown, but one with such potential! I wasn't uncertain of Tim's ability, but rather was still questioning if the video would or "should" be used. When would be the best time to view it?

So, fast forward to the Saturday night session. We had worked on the schedule of things: have a brief time of worship; the speaker speaks; more worship; Jennifer introduces mosaic project; the "Voice of Truth" music video; women make mosaic.

Things went according to schedule, but what happened was beyond what we could have planned. It was a thing of beauty. Keeping in mind that the speaker didn't even know we were going to show a music video or what songs were going to be sung in worship she used words in her talk like, "truth", or how 'fear comes from listening to other voices rather than to God's' etc. She talked about surrender and God being able to take those things that have kept us shackled and release us from them. We need to identify those things and give them to Jesus.

The speaker ended her talk and Elizabeth (the pianist) and I went into worship time with songs pre-determined. We sang "He is Able", "I Surrender All", and "Spirit of the Living God" . Next Jennifer talked to the women about the mosaic. As Jennifer shared her own encounter with God's grace and surrendering herself to Him, she shared so poignantly how we are all a beautiful piece of his artwork. It was powerful. Pieces of tile were passed out to the women to hold as they watched the music video.

Lights dimmed and the video played. I cried. The imagery was beautiful--and moving. Tim's artistry in blending visuals with words like, "Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth..." was powerful. And then seeing the image of a small boy named David, standing before the giant Goliath, ready to take him on and having the kind of faith and confidence in God that he knew he would be victorious--well, it was humbling--and powerful! (Have I mentioned that it was powerful?) It was powerful. (Thank You , Tim--and Casting Crowns!)

The video ended and lights came on. The women were dismissed and encouraged to place their tile into the mosaic. Once again I was moved to tears as the stream of women lined up to place their tile into the mosaic. No hesitation. No one feeling awkward. Some more than eager, asking if they could place more than one tile, others sharing and crying as they wrote on their piece of broken porcelain.

Women approached me, unable to speak, but just gave hugs. I was again brought to tears, so humbled by how God had moved amongst us. And that He had invited me to be a part of it all. What a joy! Several sisters asked "how did you plan all of this? It was so perfect." My answer was always the same, "we didn't, but God did." The shear excitement of being able to share with them how God had worked separately in all of us, yet together, pouring it all out in one evening for a blessing on us all....amazing...and powerful!

To dove-tail into Jennifer's blog about being a mosaic, this was a beautiful piece of art in the convergence of all the elements. Everyone using their abilities, giftings, callings to join together to make one significant moment. The glue, the beauty and diversity of the components, the impact of the evening...all God's doing.

Oh, the sweetness and beauty of the Lord. He created a multi-sensory experience that touched us all in one way or another. He didn't need any of us to accomplish it, but rather He allowed us to participate and be involved to fully enjoy Him and one another.