Sword Work

It is such a journey when one decides to truly follow the Lord wherever He leads, especially when things get scary and dark. My every tendency inside of me is to run the other direction and head for safe, familiar shelter, surrounded by people and things that bring comfort.

As the Lord has been leading this year, I'm understanding that following him is rarely comfortable or 'safe'. Because he desires me to grow and become increasingly more like him, he is allowing more opportunities for refinement, which always involves trusting, following and obeying a little more--or a lot--each time. What I have been experiencing more of recently is the task of putting His Word into action--seeing his Word lived out in my life in everyday situations as well as serving others or ministering to others. In years past it has been easy to read scripture as nothing more than words of encouragement, or a "how to guide" on how to live a Christian life, but believing whole-hearted that His Word is alive and relevant for every situation, every event, every thing in life I encounter, I have been asking Him to show me and to teach me more about living daily life this way, also asking that he would grow me in discernment and wisdom that comes from being obedient. And He is being good to me and faithful in doing just that!

As I have worked at turning to Him first for instruction and leading (not to others such as friends, family, ministers, etc.) He has been clear and decisive. I haven't always been able to "see" it right away, but as I have continued to pray through things, asking for 'ears to hear and eyes to see' and as I read scripture, it continually becomes clearer. I am learning and growing in this area. This is all part of the mystery of Christ. How the Holy Spirit can work in me to give me understanding is beyond what I can fathom. How the Lord can change my heart and mind to be in tune with His, is amazing, and not something I can just "will" myself to do.

So often I want to know how something is going to turn out before I make any decisions, before I follow the Lord to where He is leading. I'll confess, I have long wanted to see the whole map, and am resistant to just doing the next step in front of me, however, the Lord wants me to learn to trust Him in each single step. (I mean really, what would make me think I would trust Him with the whole map if I'm resistant to obeying him in just taking one step?) He wants me to rely on Him, He wants me to be in relationship with Him where he can teach, lead, guide, hold my hand, and I in turn learn to love Him more fully. He loves me perfectly; I'm the one who needs to learn how to love Him--and it takes a lifetime of dying to pride, humbling myself, walking with him and learning from Him. Oswald Chambers said it best in My Utmost for His Highest when he wrote, "discernment follows obedience." I would have to say that from how the Lord has been teaching me, this has been true. When I have stepped out in faith, obeyed the Lord in what He was asking me to do, often he has allowed me to then catch a glimpse of what He is doing in the big scheme of things, or see how that act of obedience was integral to something else. I know the Lord doesn't need me to accomplish what He wants to do, but he invites me to be a part of it, as a blessing to me.

Oh, I'm rambling on--but my heart and head have been so full. My dear Lord has been so good to my family and to me as we have had to make some very difficult decisions and have had to continually trust him with some very hard situations. Trusting in His Word, that is alive and active, believing that we are to walk in truth and in His light, clinging to Him, He has been so faithful--to all of us.

Hebrew 4: 12-16
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any
double‑edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and
marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in
all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare
before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Therefore, since we
have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of
God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a
high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who
has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. Let us then
approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and
find grace to help us in our time of need.