Tattoos and Towed Cars

I had an epiphany while riding in the car with my oldest child the other day. My son, "A", or "Roo" as we fondly call him (I can give explanation later) was talking to me about his plans to get a tattoo. These are those moments that I inwardly take a deep a breath, check the expression on my face and do my best to not give any indication outwardly that I'm quietly freaking out and thinking, "you want to do what?!?".

So, calmly, in my outwardly Mom-not-freaking-out-demeanor, I asked him where and what would he get tattooed. He went on to explain that he doesn't know where on his body exactly, but he'd like the verse from the Bible that says, "Something about God never giving us more than we can handle, and that He's always with us."

Inwardly, I was stunned. You see, "A" is in the process of "owning his faith". He gave his heart to Jesus when he was little, but there is a tug-0-war going on right now when it comes to allowing God to be Lord of his life. For the past several years, my dear son has travelled down some paths that we would not choose for him and have even warned him about. These days I find that I'm often praying for his safety and protection.

If there is any encouragement in this time it is that Roo's heart continues to be "soft" and has not become hardened towards God or us, his parents. He is a very intuitive, discerning young man and at times has such insight about things. And for that I'm thankful. We have some wonderful talks and he continues to open up to me about life at random times.

Questioning him further about the tattoo, I asked "A" why he would have that verse permanently marking him? Roo went on to explain that with all the "stuff" going on his life, that this truth has always brought him real comfort. He said that often he feels God brings to mind that He is present and that He'll carry him through all the tough things. Roo said that this is what keeps him from feeling so overwhelmed with life so much of the time and keeps him from just 'giving up or going over the deep end'.

We began talking about all the "stuff" that "happens" to him. He further elaborated. He shared a conversation he had with his best friend "K" the other day. "K" was commenting that it seems "A" has the "worst of luck", meaning, that when "A" makes bad choices, he seems to always get caught; "A" gets a ticket the first time he makes a poor driving choice, or his car gets towed, or there is some other kind of financial fine or hit, or....and the list goes on. "K" was saying how he gets away with a lot of things, and so do most of his friends. They don't seem to have the same "bad luck" that Roo has.

Then it hit me, as I was driving Roo to the impound lot where his newly towed car had been taken, that God has been faithful in answering my prayers for this almost 19 year-old young man from the time he was an infant. As I have prayed over each of my children, I have asked the Lord to always let them get caught whenever they do something they shouldn't do (or what is not God's "best" for them) and never let them get away with anything. My desire has been that each of them would experience the freedom of walking "in the light"--not being deceitful, or lying, or stealing, or whatever.... rather than being chained down in hidden sin and things they get away with.

My heart was jumping with joy as we drove along. I was able to see that God has been faithful and is continuing to be faithful to the covenant we made many years ago...that this child given to us to care for would grow and walk with the Lord. Despite bad choices and wrong decisions on this young man's part, the Lord is continuing to be a faithful parent, and faithful to the cries of my heart. He's not letting him get away with anything!

Dare I say that I've warmed to the idea of Roo's tattoo! How can I find harm in this young man's desire to have an outward mark of God's faithfulness? As with most 19 year olds, there is still a lot of room for growth in maturity and responsibility, and we will continue to pray to that end, but for this week, I will bask in the comfort and reassurance of God's very faithful presence in my son's life.

I'd have to say, I think this conversation was one of my favorites this week; the one that started with, "Mom, I think I'm going to get a tattoo."

Puttin' On My Dancing Shoes

I'm excited! It's that time of year again. "Dancing With The Stars" is back on for another round on ABC! I know...I'm a dweeb....but what can I say? I like this show!

This year they have quite an array of personalities that are learning to ball room dance: Clyde Drexler, Apolo Anton Ohno, Billy Ray Cyrus (His first dance was to "I Want My Mullet Back"), Laila Ali (Muhamed Ali's boxing daughter) and Joey Fatone from NSYNC fame, just to name a few. It definitely appears that the athletes in the group have the upper hand so far. Even Clyde is doing pretty well, although the height difference between he and his dance partner is awkward to say the least. Billy Ray should be going home next week. There's a reason he was a one-hit wonder. I really don't think he has a rhythmic gene in his body!

My early prediction is that Apolo will be in the finals. He is doing great. Laila will be right there with him. She is amazingly graceful, entertaining and has lots of personality.

Oh, I get all stirred up and want to take dance lessons big time! It would be so fun. Hey, Leeza Gibbons is on the show and just turned 50! I could do it! I'm still a few years from the half-century mark! My youngest daughter even offered to go with me! (There's love for you...she obviously hasn't thought through the embarrassment factor yet.)

Okay--well--thanks for letting me get that out of my system. Time to put on my dancing shoes and do a little happy dance!

Word for the Day

Ugh! I've been fighting sickness for the past 1-1/2 weeks. Friday I finally succumbed to feeling rotten. It was definitely time to see the doctor as things were not improving. It was confirmed--a sinus infection has taken up residence. That would explain the intense headache, swollen eyes, hurting ears, etc. (TMI?) Thankful for the hope that a prescription for antibiotics will have me feeling re-energized and motivated again, I've been doing my fair share of resting, watching TV and sleeping.

I'll confess, I'm not a very good sick person. I get bored after a while and get fidgety, wanting to do activity even though my body says it needs to just lay in bed. I begin to see the projects, the housework that needs to get done, and so on, and before I know it, there is some underlying mental stress that comes with being sick. (This was probably cultivated from those years of having young children and knowing there were no sick days to be had as a mom...I just pushed through it and did all the everyday stuff whether I was sick or not.)

This morning, after checking email, reading blogs, etc., I finally picked up my Bible and began reading.

This was the Word for me today:

Deuteronomy 4:39, "Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth below. There is no other."

This spoke right to my heart and need of the day.

Thank you for your Word to me today, Lord. Thank you for putting things in perspective, and for these times of imposed rest; times when I am made to be still and acknowledge you. Thank you for this hope and encouragement for today, that you are sovereign and in control.

An Iridescent Path

I've mentioned in previous posts that I seem to be In process or in preparation mode--or something. I definitely feel like I'm transitioning from one thing to something else, but not sure what the something else is! There is a definite "shifting" of things happening.

The other night I had a dream that I knew was God-given. It was so clear and vivid; I knew it was from Him. My dream addressed several issues that I've been wrestling with recently. I found great comfort and reassurance in this dream and I want to share it with you all in the chance that it may be an encouragement to you as well.

The dream begins in a setting much like the set of Extreme Home Makeover. An entirely new house has been built and was ready to be decorated. I found myself standing in the kitchen of the new house. Evidently this was my designated room to decorate and furnish as I chose. (Evidently Ty Pennington was busy elsewhere.)

Gazing around the kitchen, it became quite clear that I would need to move the stove/oven unit and do a few other appliance changes that would make things "flow" better. I got the okay from the builder and he quickly made changes and agreed that the adjustments would be an enhancement to the overall flow and appeal of the room.

Next came the task of decorating. I could vividly see it! It was great--as I thought of things in my head, they would appear on the blank canvas of the kitchen walls. The palette (seemingly inspired by a field of tulips) was a combination of greens, yellows, oranges and a few different subtle shades of pink (You had to see it in my dream...it was really beautiful!) The colors were all entwined and layered beautifully with an iridescent shimmer to them that would slightly change hues when walking about the room. The room seemed alive and glowing. Sunlight was streaming through the wall of windows on the left hand side of the room. I was so excited and enjoyed the ambiance of the finished room.

Having completed the kitchen, I decided I would venture into the rest of the house to see what others were doing. The other rooms of the massive house were being completed by people I knew, many of whom are true-to-life friends. As I traveled through the halls I said hello to them as they all busily huddled together carrying out their decorating plans. I asked what their color scheme was and collectively they replied, "beige with touches of blue." As I looked around, I saw for myself it was true, blue was the only real color scattered throughout the rooms whether it was a sole down comforter on the king-sized bed, or the towels hanging in the guest bathroom, everything was beige with touches of blue. The other nuance I was very aware of in my dream was that this part of the house seemed especially dim and I remember thinking how difficult it was to see. There were no visible windows. I asked my friends if more light was available, and their reply was that I seemed to be the only one having problems...they were doing just fine..and there was "plenty of light".

After a little while, my "friends" (who seemed to act as one collective group) asked about the kitchen and inquired about my decorating choices. With great excitement I shared my color scheme, the light that was able to stream through the windows and shimmer of the bright, cheery walls. What ensued next left me disheartened.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. Then I was sternly informed that the color scheme was beige and blue, and that's what they were doing, and it was strongly suggested that I do the same for continuity. I pleaded my case with them, asking them to just come see the kitchen and perhaps they could see how great it all looked...but they wouldn't come with me to see. They again strongly suggested that I change to blue and beige and follow their lead, because what they were doing was "classic", elegant and, basically, they knew better and there were more of them. My mind was in a swivet as I tried to reconcile that these were my friends, yet, there was the absence of compassion, the absence of working together, exchanging ideas, building on each other's abilities, wanting the best whatever that meant; I was being told I was wrong and I needed to do it their way or I would be the outcast.

As I travelled through the maze of rooms, my heart was aching. I quickened my steps and avoided talking to them as I made my way back to the kitchen...my refuge. As I entered in, sunlight and warmth were once again streaming in through the windows. The delight that the colors brought to my hurting heart felt like a comforting salve. I felt embraced by the light and encouraged by the brilliance of colors.

This is where I wanted to stay, yet in my dream, I felt the weight of the decision I was faced with: do I cover over the joyful colors with a layer of beige paint, accessorized by a color of blue, to fit in and be acceptable with others in the house, and run the risk of things being dimly lit, but conforming?; or do I live in a full spectrum of colors, flooded with light, by myself.

I abruptly woke up. I couldn't go back to sleep for quite a while.

This dream spoke right to several areas or things I'm encountering or have been processing over the past few months; friendships/relationships that have been "shifting", decisions and choices I am having to make, or will have to make--delineations that are becoming clearer. What I've learned and continue to learn is that often, when we choose to follow the Lord wholeheartedly and are willing to live an adventuresome life with Him, we may be called to, and often are, called to a path that we travel alone.

My dream gave me a visual that has been a great encouragement to me over the past few days. When I remember the beauty of the colors and streaming sunlight (or son light) and the peace that I was wrapped in, it has encouraged me to stay there and not wander back into the other hallways of the house. I am encouraged to continue on this path of faith, living in the exuberance of new adventures with God, and abundant life in Him that may look different when compared to others...but finding joy and peace in choosing the unconventional and avant-garde over the safe and classic.

Let's Play Birthday Tag

Here's a tag from my friend Kim
1. Go to Wikipedia and type in your birthday month and day only.
2. List 3 events that occurred on that day.
3. List 2 important birthdays.
4. List 1 death.
5. List a holiday or observance. (if any)
6. Tag 5 other bloggers.

Here are my results for my birthday,
November 19:

Events:
1493 - Christopher Columbus goes ashore on an island he first saw the day before. He names it San Juan Bautista (later renamed Puerto Rico).

1863 - American Civil War: Union President Abraham Lincoln delivers the Gettysburg
Address at the military cemetery dedication ceremony in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.

1954 - Sammy Davis, Jr., loses his left eye in an automobile accident in San Bernardino, California.

Birthdays:
1600 - King Charles I of England (d. 1649)
1942 - Calvin Klein, American clothing designer

Death:
1772 - William Nelson, American colonial governor of Virginia (b. 1711)

Holiday or Observance:
Puerto Rico - Discovery of Puerto Rico (1493) I know I was only to post 1, but this was an obvious one since it was also one of my "events".

World Toilet Day (I'm so proud!)

I tag:
Yolanda
Angela Marie
Wanda
Leah
Trisha

Hitting the Wall

The faith series our Pastor is going through is challenging to say the least. Perhaps my initial response is like so many others when it comes to issues of faith. I know there is plenty of room for growth, but on the continuum, I feel like I'm making progress. However, when I really examine the 'faith hall of fame-ers' from Hebrews 11, I'm humbled. I'm not even close.

This past week as we re-read the story of Joshua and the wall of Jericho, I "heard" things that I hadn't really heard before. I remember the story from my early Sunday School days of childhood, as well as a couple of songs that play through my mind...but the specifics of the story...the call to extreme faith has somehow escaped me. In my child's mind it made sense that marching around a wall and shouting would make the walls tumble, after all, God was involved.

But, as an adult, I realize that this 'child-like' faith has become somewhat hardened and at times skeptical. Of course I know God made the wall tumble down, but I think much more about Joshua and his troops...how strange this whole encounter must have been for them. Would I have the same kind of faith if confronted with such a wall?

Unlike Joshua, I find that when I encounter obstacles to a vision the Lord has given me, or a passionate direction that I am called to, I end up hitting the wall, rather than obediently marching around it, waiting until God's perfect timing. I become discouraged by the objections, the negative voices, the impediments, rather than pressing forward. My focus becomes the wall and not what lies beyond the wall.

As Pastor John went through the story of Joshua, there were several things I hadn't recalled. One of the "elements" to the story was the fact that the entire army was circumcised prior to marching around the wall! As it was pointed out, this is not the "norm" for heading into battle! You can't get that much more dependent on the Lord....physically hurting and not able to be at your top fighting potential. What struck me was that not only does God want us totally dependent on him, but this is a great illustration of how personal God is. He wants His mark on each of us in the most intimate, private parts (for lack of a better description) of us. There is nothing hidden from Him. Nothing that He doesn't have ownership of. Every bit of our being is His...and it is with this understanding and acknowledgement that we enter into the battles we face and the steps of faith that He calls us into, fully surrendering to what He wants to accomplish.

I couldn't help but think about the soldiers who had been so prepared for battle. Fighting men, trained, fit and ready for the job at hand. Willing to go into the fight. Physically they were incapacitated for a while, but mentally, they must have been very ready for engagement, perhaps playing through different scenarios in their minds. But even in that, God interrupted their logical mental preparation by calling them to do battle in a way that made no sense at all.

How often do I find myself thinking that the only thing I will be called to do is what I'm "geared up for", or well trained to do, or mentally prepared for? I too easily think that the path should make sense or be clear. Again, I hit the wall, rather than obediently march around it. What I'm seeing is a common strand that threads its way throughout these examples of faith. In each example God often called them to do what they didn't feel personally able to do, or trained for, or even mentally ready to do--or was sensible to them--but they obeyed, willing to follow, willing to move in the direction God said.

I'm thankful for the example of Joshua and his men who were obedient, trusting, faithful in marching around the walled city of Jericho. It is a good reminder and encouragement to me; when the world says it would make sense to 'hit the wall' and quit, God says 'Surrender totally to me, keep marching and then just at the right time, I'll tell you when to shout...and wait 'til you see what happens next!

Perspective

When I received the phone call from the middle school today, I didn't mind--too much. On the other end of the phone was my youngest daughter informing me that she had to attend "Saturday School" due to logging in her 3rd tardy in one week, to her 6th period class. I could hear the gush of emotion and tears through the receiver. She was upset, perhaps even more so when she handed the phone over to her teacher who was very direct and matter-of-fact, letting me know why the 3 hours on Saturday were being imposed. I agreed and supported her decision.

As I hung up the phone I found myself smiling, even thankful. My youngest is the very social one of our kids. Her teachers have always liked her and she is known for being a leader and good student, however, her weakness is talking with friends. She is easily side tracked and has been known to lose track of time or events if there are friends around.

Even though "Saturday School" was not on the original agenda for this weekend, I don't mind as I reflect on the events of the last 24 hours. Two days ago I received a call from the church requesting two floral arrangements; 1 for a memorial service for an elderly gentleman who had passed away, and the other for the funeral for a newborn baby.

Creating funeral "pieces" is a challenging and often emotional experience. If I were wired differently, perhaps it could be possible to make the arrangements without thought and just manufacture something that would convey condolences and be a beautiful form of remembrance. But, I haven't found that un-emotional place yet. I can't help but think of the families and friends that have just lost their loved one, bound together by grief, undergoing a range of emotions and processes, and subsequently having to adjust to a new way of life that will go forward without the presence of the newly deceased.

Through the years, I have found it easier to make funeral arrangements when the deceased is elderly because they have lived a full, long life. Although still sad and a definite loss for the family, death is more expected and even anticipated to some extent.

Today, however, when I was making the funeral arrangement for the newborn baby, I couldn't hold back the tears. I thought of the young parents whose nursery is empty, the young mother who must now go through the same post-partum recovery process that other new moms go through, except that she won't have anything to show as her reward for the changes her body has made throughout the past many months. I couldn't help but think of the extended family members who were eager to meet this new little one, but instead find themselves attending a service, giving her back the Lord before they even were able to really know her.

As I delivered the flowers to the funeral home this morning, I continued to fight tears. Walking into the flower room at the rear of the building and placing my basket filled with pink and white blooms next to other arrangements that had been delivered for the service, I couldn't help but glance at each of them and see what others had created as a remembrance. All were very "pink" and delicate, soft and appropriate. I wondered if the other designers had struggled with their emotions as much as I had. Leaving the building and climbing back into my car, I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I was overcome with grief for the loss of this little treasure from heaven and sorrow for the parents that are left alone with empty arms.

As I drove home and cried, I found myself thanking the Lord for the blessing of my 4 children, here, with us. Even though some of the tough times have been really tough, we still have the privilege of feeling their hugs, the sweetness of their kisses, the sound of the laughter. Why have we been so blessed? Why do some parents experience such pain and loss?

So today, when the middle school teacher called me informing me that my squirrel-ly 7th grader was needing some discipline, I was thankful; thankful that I get to experience the ups and downs of parenting; thankful for the joys and struggles of being a mom; thankful that my arms aren't empty.


*Please remember to pray for these young parents who are experiencing such a great loss.

Sunny Respite

Oh, the warmth of the early spring air! What a needed respite these last couple of days have been. As a native Oregonian, I have grown my webbed feet and am quite accustomed to the rain. In fact, I like those cozy rainy days when staying inside and puttering is so inviting. However, the last couple of days have been glorious...warm, sunshine-y, rejuvenating, re-energizing. I hadn't realized how "gray" everything has been until the sky was so clearly blue and the sun so warm! I was in urgent need of a weather change!

These have been a good couple of days. On Monday, we celebrated the beauty of the day with a homemade strawberry crepes dinner. The frozen, not-in-season strawberries weren't great...but it sure makes me look forward to May/June when the local berries will be ripe and ready for consumption! (I'm making freezer space ready now--I can hardly wait!)

Tuesday, my second oldest (almost 17) took his driver's license test and passed. He hasn't been chomping at the bit to take the test, until recently when he said he finally felt "ready"...and it was evident. He passed with flying colors and a nearly perfect score!

In the next few days I will replace the dead plants in the flower pots on my porch with brightly-colored primroses. The wilted pink tulips in the vase on my dining room table will be tossed out and a fresh bunch, perhaps yellow, will take their place. I have been known to treat myself (often) to these visual delights. I love the locally grown tulips and other spring flowers so readily available at this time of year. There is just something so nurturing and revitalizing about being surrounded with His creation!

Aah, spring! I'm so thankful that God created this wonderful time of year! It always comes around just when I'm needing it most! How does He do that??

Help Wanted

I need your help. I'm feeling the need/desire to make some changes in my life and am dreaming about changing my employment or means of income. I've just about reached the end of my rope doing part-time clerical work (a really nice boss, but the line of work is really "not my thing" and boring. I'm on the edge of going bonkers)and floral design on my own, while enjoyable, is not consistent income. So I'm opening it up to collective brainstorming and seeing what comes of it. That's where you come in. I'm requesting your input and ideas for me!

Since we're "brainstorming" here, and thinking "out of the box", this is what my "ideal" job or work would consist of: It would have significance and purpose, something for the greater good, not just a way to make some money; it would encompass something that is perhaps ministry-oriented; creative; some independent work; perhaps some writing and/or speaking involvement; an environment where brainstorming or exchange of ideas is common; about 25+ hours/week. It would not be secretarial/receptionist-oriented.

Education/Experience: 4 years of College, graduated with a major in Christian Ministries; Certificate of Floral Design; have had experience leading small groups over the past 25 years; have had experience in speaking to large and small groups; have been on 2 short term missions trips, and am a recent "blogger". I enjoy writing, crafts, family time, coffee with friends and playing video games.

So, with those vague (or rather specific ?) parameters in mind, send your employment ideas for me--to me--at the email link on the sidebar, or leave it as a comment to this post.

Thanks! I'm intrigued to see what y'all come up with!
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Not long after posting this, the Lord brought something to mind. I'll share the idea with you later...in the meanwhile, send me your ideas!